Wednesday, December 29, 2010

6.5 weeks!

Well folks!  We're over half way done the first trimester!  WOOHOO!!

That picture was for 6 weeks!!  Looking more pregnant, less bloated more and more!

So I now have a computer thank goodness.

I've missed my IPs soooo much the last few weeks, and I was absolutely CRUSHED to not be able to take live tests with them over skype like I had planned for.  

Well... I've been intensely nauseous for the last 3 weeks now.  I'm on the verge of throwing up, constantly.  I feel like all I have to do is throw up and I'll feel better.. but I don't, it just never goes away!  I'm getting my dictlecton tomorrow and now I just have to see if it will help.  I have hot flashes all day and all night.  I'm exhausted constantly... yay for pregnancy though!  it's going to be sooo worth it when I push these little ones out and watch their parents with them for the first time.

I am now delivery in England.  So i will have to fly out at 28 weeks with my two children.  I'm reallllly not looking forward to the actual travel [mostly for health purposes of the stress and physical strain of bringing all that over myself] and being away from Josh for around three months.  It will also be the first time I travel outside the country... and it's more than a little scary... let alone to probably have to go alone with two children under 3.  To say I'm nervous is an understatement.  But it makes their lives a lot on a journey to England I shall exactly 5 months from today!

I'm just hoping that everything else starts to fall into place because just thinking about the travel is stressful.  We are going to try to save up enough to bring hubby over with me at least.  We will need both big carseats, luggage, the two children, me with a big tummy and a diaper bag.  

I'm also looking for health coverage for when I go over ... if anyone has any ideas, plleeeaase let me know!

There is so much to do still!  The part I thought was the biggest part [getting pregnant] soo wasn't.

Alright, so I think I updated for the most part lol

I will be blogging more regularly now that I have a computer!  Just got it tonight!

Will have more pictures on Sunday when we hit 7 weeks!

Less than a month to wait for our first OBS!

Hope EVERYONE had a GREAT Christmas!!!


Thursday, December 23, 2010

and I update FINALLY

Just a verrry quick update for now, but I have another belly picture!

Im enormously bloated right now, so hopefully that will go down in a few weeks.

Blood test results were POSITIVE.

So now just waiting to have access to a scanner so that my IPs can FINALLY have it grr  I came to the library so that I could scan it for them and get the money, just to find out their scanner isnt working and paypal needs to process my banking information for 2-3 days FIRST and then the transfer takes 3-5 business days, so up to 8 more business days lol

This was taken on Sunday, exactly 5 weeks... now the wait is on to see if both sacs survived and if there are more than one baby per sac, how exciting!!


I should have a computer right after Christmas, and i promise to keep up better once we doo.

We have to buy a new harddrive for my computer (ugh) and hubbys is finished, so we're buying one second hand for now... and then i have to wait to be able to afford to get the harddrive!


Friday, December 17, 2010

4th Week Comes To A Close

We are already 4 weeks and 5 days!

Which means that we are nearly 1/8th of the way there lol

More symptoms of course. lol

Back pain.

More food cravings.


Calf cramps.


These just ADD to the other ones, as I am still having every single one of them.  I feel like Ive eaten too much, all the time, and yet, Im also HUNGRY all the time.  This of course, leaves me with a dilemna ... do I eat... or dont I??  So, yes of course I eat lol

This of course, is not a problem, as pregnancy is a license to EAT and EAT and EAT.  The only problem is that my cravings are a bit expensive, and especially this time of year, we dont have the money to order in or go out for supper often. 

I had some upsetting news this week though.  My hospital doesnt check beta count, which means that I cant give my Intended Parents exact numbers on where my hormones are at.  They said that they didnt expect them anyway, but I realllly wanted them to have that, and everything else.  Maybe my expectations of my abilities are just too high for the time being.  They are going to schedule a blood test for Tuesday, Im hoping that my doctor sends me right over to the hospital from his office, which would be GREAT, and save me a lot of gas money.  Again, this time of year, we cant afford much, and we dont have a car, so its 20$ to my doctors office and back and then its about 24$ to the hospital and back home.  So, it could easily be a 44$ dollar blood test, thank goodness Im in Canada and dont pay for the actual appointment and test!

I have Gabriel with me here at the library, as I still dont have a computer at the moment, and hes climbing all over me, which is making typing difficult haha  If Ive spelt anything insanely wrong, just ignore it hahahaha

My bump is getting bigger, which means Im still retaining more water, but its just my belly and nowhere else for the time being.  I dont even have a camera right now to show you guys, and im soooo sorry, I cant wait to have all my technology back, as I miss all of you reading and responding.

I will say bye for now, but I will hopefully get my computer back this weekend, and if not Ill try to be back on Tuesday! 

Take care everyone!!


Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Okay... sooo much has happened.

9dpo we got this

soo... definitely pregnant! haha

I have a few more to show you though!!

We had our OFFICIAL pregnancy test yesterday at public health!  here it is!


I also had an ultrasound booked for like... forever for my gallbladder, kidneys, pancreas etc and I asked her to take a quick look to see how many there were... she said she could see TWO sacs!! We are going to have TWINS!!!!

Im sooo flipping excited and i cant believe this is all happening!  well, i can... and i kind of had the feeling that there would be more than one.  all she could see was block blobs for now, nothing in them really yet, so in another month, we will get to see if maybe there is a third! 

i couldnt get a pic, but next time i can!! 

okay, so these are the appointments book SO FAR

First Official Medical Pregnancy Test Taken : December 13th

First Blood Test : December 21st

First OBS Appointment : January 26th (after my and daddys birthday on the 23rd grr)

So now its just a waiting game for that lovely piece of paper in the mail saying when to go in for the next scan !!!  Im sooo happy that i can do this and im so lucky to have ips like the ones i do.  thank you to everyone who has been supporting us, LETS MAKE BABIES!!!!

This was DECEMBER 10th.  Not 4 weeks yet! 

Ive been reallly sick for the last few nights, so hopefully that doesnt last too long, but i have a feeling it will.

along with early constipation, nausea, weakness, my sugar gets low FAST and horrid nightmares for more than a week so far.

the nightmares are so bad im afraid to go back to sleep sometimes, and hubs is now working nights, so im alone in the big apartment.  its reallly scary.  i wont tell you what im dreaming about as it is realllly scary to be honest.

alright... i didnt have a whole lot of time on here, but i wanted to update

will be a daily thing when i get my computer back i promise!!!


Thursday, December 9, 2010

Drum Roll Please!

BAM! We got our first positive last night at about 7dpo.  Of course, no one knows the exact time of ovulation, so its hard to narrow down.  What I DO know is that it was between 1pm on the 1st and 1am on the 2nd, so theres a big difference there, and it could very well be why we had our hopes up so early already for our beloved +.

Alright, of course, I took pics for you!

I think I was just as excited and happy and teary eyed as my IPs were.  I cant believe that I am on this journey with them and we are allll soooo excited about this and hope that maybe we will have twins come from this!

My computer crashed on me two days ago, which is why I didnt blog IMMEDIATELY.  However, I am currently at the library trying to use up my one precious hour wisely.  I wanted to share this with you, as I know some of you are very loyal to my updates, and this is sooo amazingly excited for us all. 

For an update on me, I have been quite simply EXHAUSTED the last two days.  I woke up this morning, I opened my eyes after nearly 12 hours of sleep.  I looked around, and I looked at hubbys phone, not believing what time it really was, and that the children let me sleep in until 830.  I felt very groggy, I felt very heavy, like I had somehow gained 5 lbs over night (which is a lot for me who measured in at 97 lbs just two weeks ago).  I felt like I was getting up at 4am to go pee, and I know anyone who has ever been pregnant knows that when you go to the washroom that early in the morning, your body knows its still night time and it knows to go back to sleep as soon as your body hits the bed again and you're warm enough.

I have felt like I'm constantly eating.  I know that sounds so silly, as I dont know anyone who's first symptoms were just excessive hunger.  I even get mild hunger pains if I dont eat every 3-4 hours.  Today, I woke up and I admit I ate very late, I only ate at about 1230pm, but I did have a big snack this morning.  I had a deli sandwich at subway, then a second one, and then 3 cookies, a bag of chips, a large chocolate milk and then I went home... where I then two hours ate another 6 inch sub, made a pb & j sandwich and .5 litres of water.  It has been just over two hours since then, and Im hungry again for another meal. 

I can't wait to get more belly pictures up on here to show you guys how bloated I am, I feel so full and heavy and a little stretched to be honest.  TMI warning, but I've had a lot of gas, which could be caused from all the eating lol

No nausea unless I dont sleep more than 6-7 hours a night, which is probably just the excitement etc.

I dont know what to add!! I'm just so happy!  I'm keeping up with my personal journal currently at home for my IPs... I hope they like that more than this hahaha I have more time to think at home than when I'm put on a one hour time limit to spit everything out LOL

I just feel soo blessed that they allowed me to attempt to help them on this horrible path of infertility, and I know that I could never ever ever understand the hurt and frustration they have been through in these many years of trying to finally expand their family.  I wish that I could just reach out and hug everyone touched with this horrible fate.  For those of us who know people who can not have children of their own, please say a prayer tonight... not necessarily that they will have a baby, but that they can find closure in any way they find suitable for them.

If I knew today that it would help people, I would give up my fertility to someone else.

If I knew that I would help more people doing that than doing surrogacy, I would without a thought give that away.

So many people on this Earth are blessed with being extremely fertile, and a lot of us dont use it to the fullest potential.  When so many are hurting so badly, I find that its a shame that they aren't, but I understand that not everyone can do what I do, and not everyone is willing to try what I am doing.  For those of us out there who are TRYING to make a difference, whether you are a surrogate, a counsellor or a really good friend, thank you.  It is people like you who allow infertility to have a voice, and I think it should speak out.  Unlike cancer, you can not beat infertility.  You can not hide infertility.  It is a life long hurt, and it is a life long term for some people of imprisonment, that their own bodies have failed them. 

Please reach out to those around you.  Hug them.  Help them understand and accept what they can not change, for everyone is perfect in THEIR OWN WAY.  We are all a perfect portrait.  We are all capable to change the world, one step at a time. 

Thank you for reading today.  I wont be able to blog for a couple more days, but please please please... if you are dealing with infertility, to NOT feel alone.


Sunday, December 5, 2010

Pictures For You

CD4 [cycle day 4, on period]

Today [before drinking anything or eating]

About to start them weekly :P

4dpo today.  - test.  Just waiting around for tomorrow morning to retest.


Day 5


We're 4.5 dpo now.  I'm just waiting and hoping my IM goes online before I have to test.  I'm not good at waiting. haha

I've definitely agreed to waiting until my IF is home to test every day from here on out, as our chances of actually getting a + are getting higher and higher.  In two days, there's a real chance of getting a second line, and then 4 days after that, almost guaranteed if I did conceive.

I will say that not everyone gets their + 10-12dpo, and that some people don't get a + until 14dpo or even 16dpo.  Everyone's embryos travel at their own pace of course, so now we just have to wait and see right??

My biggest fear is ectopic.  I started to cramp a bit more today, and I know it could be implantation.  Probably not though, since it usually takes the embryo 5-8 days just to make it out of the fallopian tubes.  Implantation usually occurs on 6dpo.  That's the first chance we have of actually getting a +, however, I believe in testing anyway just in case hahahaha

Alright, so for anyone reading this who has become pregnant in the past, please comment me how many days dpo you were when you got a +!


Friday, December 3, 2010

Here's the test I took today!

Day 3 :(

Well, today is day 3 of testing.

It's also the day that everyone goes home.

The house will feel completely empty without everyone here tomorrow morning.  I will wake up with the children, and wait for my amazing friends to wake up.  First I'll wait for C to wake up to use the washroom at around 9am, which has been around the time he goes.  And then I'll wait for T to get up and come sit on the couch and wonder what the heck we're doing for the day.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it all yet.  I know for sure I'm going to cry... as I already am and they only leave in 10 hours.  I have 10 hours - 10 precious hours until they leave to go over the Atlantic Ocean to go back home.  I offered to keep them here forever, but of course, C has to go back to work on Tuesday, so that kind of crashed the idea.  It's definitely more than a little sad, and I truly wish they could stay in Bathurst for another 100 years.

I haven't tested YET, but I'm on my way over right now.  I will keep the blog open of course, but it's wayy too early to expect anything for another 4-6 days for sure.  I should start to take pictures of them, but my camera is soo blurry for the pictures [I'm asking for a camera from hubby for my birthday *HINT HINT JOSH!*  Peeeee time.  Be right back.

So, of course, it's still negative.  I'm going to start to get excited about a possible positive in about 3 days when there's actually a chance.  See, it usually take the egg about a week just to make it into the uterus, and then it has to bury into the uterine lining.  This is why most women don't get a + pregnancy test until around the day their period would show up.  So, no excitement really until 6dpo and then no panic for a - until 12dpo.  I won't stop testing until 15dpo.

Well, three days down.

Anyone have a super sensitive ultrasound machine to lend me so that I can track their embies?  If you do, just drop it off for the next week please.  THANK YOU!


Thursday, December 2, 2010


Okay, so... I know I'm crazy... so, and I'm expecting you all to say so haha

I'm testing already.  Actually, in all honesty, I started to test YESTERDAY.

My tests measure at 10mui/ml, so I'm hoping in a few days we'll see something.  At low testing measurement like that, maybe by 7dpo we'll see something!  Most people don't test until at least 10dpo, but my IM got me these amazing tests, [100 of them] so I want to show my gratitude by using them!

So, if I can hold my pee for 6 hours at any given time, I'm going to POAS.

Share your stories, what's the earliest you've ever gotten a +?


Wednesday, December 1, 2010


I woke up with the baby at about 530am [he's teething again, so for the next week, it'll be hell on wheels], and I felt some ovary discomfort, just like pinching, in both sides.  So this morning I'm not feeling well, but that's okay. I'm thinking about going over to subway for breakfast, I definitely have to go do some groceries and get my christmas shopping done.  I also have to print a few pictures out at walmart, that is, I'm going to go online and send my pictures over from my computer lol

That's part of my IPs present too, so I need to take more pictures to send hahahahaha

Unfortunately, my camera card sucks out loud so I may have to steal their camera to take the pictures!  GRR! LOL

Does anyone have any ideas for how to tell my IPs if we get a + test?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Positive Ovulation Test... Again?

BAHAHAHAHA Don't know what the heck is going on, but yesterday they were - again, and today....

The first line is the control line and the second one is the TEST line... YAY!  I don't know what's going on... but I'll take it! We're both jumping around, the guys are out running errands, and I don't know why I even tested, but I did.  Soooo, I guess my IF will be sore by the time I'm done with him!!  bahahahahahaha.  


Monday, November 29, 2010

When Not To Assume

I had to post this today.  I know I try to express my feelings as much as I can to you so that you can understand what it is like to be a surrogate.

Well, I had been speaking to an amazing same sex couple only 5.5 hours away from me, which is the closest I've even encountered who were searching for a traditional surrogate.  I hadn't had contact with them for a few weeks, and seeing as how they were so perfect, I figured they had found someone and didn't know how to tell me.

I was wrong.

They had simply taken time out, away from it all.  I got a message asking me what was new from them, honestly quite surprised to hear from them.  As you can imagine, they were quite upset with me.  I asked them to read my blog, and as soon as they had, they had messaged me.  I felt absolutely horrible.  I was crying.  Like I had let a close friend down.  Broken a promise.  Tattled on a friend to whom had kept secrets for you in the past.

This world is filled with both glorious and horrendous surprises... this was not one of those glorious ones.  I was fully expecting them to tell me that they had been matched and writing up contracts.  I'm not only in shock, but in despair, for they are truly a great couple.  I'm sad that this has happened, truly, and I hope that this does not happen to anyone else.  It is quite heart breaking to know that you've completely shattered a couple's heart. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to call them or message them when/if I become available in all honesty, since I don't know if they even ever want to talk to me again.

If they decide to read this.. all I can say is that I'm so sorry... although, I know that will never help what I've done and I can only pray that it even makes a difference.  They are definitely a couple I would want to work with, and I have to tell everyone, if you're a surrogate, these guys would be absolutely wonderful.  I'm just sorry I won't be working with them.




Yes... that's right.  We're not just waiting to test.  okay, that's a lie... There will be no waiting because everyone who knows me knows that I don't wait... I wait 5 days... and only because 6dpo is the absolute earliest time you can get a +.  Other than that, I would be testing - now.

Okay.. so I will admit that the insems aren't my favorite part of surrogacy.  BUT... they get me to this point, where I get to blog and tell you that there are now 13.5 days until we should get a +.  Yep... in 13.5 short days, I could be on here telling you all that I'm knocked up and ready to bloat.  LOL

Hopefully in 2 weeks you'll start to get belly pictures and then I can start scanning stuff to show you!!

Anyone who's ever tried to get pregnant knows that this time of the wait SUCKS.  NO ONE likes the 2WW.  The reason being that it's soooooooooooooo long.

I am now laying here after having done the insems for the second time.  LOL  Yeah... all women know what I'm feeling right now [ew].  LOL  Yep... that's right.  So home insems aren't that glorious. lol  They aren't, but they can be much more intimate .. that sounds wrong, but I mean with your IPs.  You're not working with doctors and machines but rather with people and feelings.  Isn't that what surrogacy is all about?  I understand that some surros do IUI because it increases the chances of conception.  I like it this way to be honest, with all the real feeling and emotion.

Alright... SOOOOOO.  LOL   I will shortly be on with tests bahahahahah I have ovr 50 tests ready [thank goodness] and I'm ready to start to take them!!  I feel like I should be testing tomorrow!  LOL I'm going to start testing in five days, even though the chances are minimal.. I have tests that measure at 10mui/ml... so they will be the earliest to pick it up. woohoo!



Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Excitement... The Nerves... The Messy House

My friends arrive in an HOUR!  I'm getting the kids ready to go right now!!  I woke up with a runny nose, and we certainly didn't get the house cleaned last night lol  We DID try, but we also failed.  Which is fine since we have all week.  Hubby worked 7 days straight so that he could get more time off next week, and while doing so, we were both too tired to clean at night.

Having not even turned the baby's room into the spare room, they will have to laugh at us while we attempt to take the baby's crib down tonight, as we have not done that in a YEAR.  lol  I'm hoping they don't think too little of us for being sooo disorganized.  I really do blame it on the children and current family disaster [everyone is fine, just a few dramatic family members].    I think we all have a Monster In Law... and I certainly DON'T feel alone in that, as most of my friends have reassured me that even though most aren't as bad as mine, there are some of my friends [both male AND female] who will admit to wanted to strangle their MIL's on a regular basis.

Because the house is so messy, I have this picture for you all, rest assured that this is NOT how messy MY house is, but rather, how bad it COULD be :P  Hopefully it will give some humor to my problem haha

I promise I can see floor in each of my rooms!!  LOL

I have told myself that I will eat out today with them so that I can avoid cooking in the kitchen, as it's the worst room, Lexi's room just need tidying and so does Gabey's, but the kitchen is sooo easy to have messed up!

Lexi and Gabey have probably  been mentioned before, but they are my children :)  Now Lexi [Alexandra] is 26 months and Gabey [Gabriel] is 7 months.  I'm sure I've mentioned them before, although, I have tried to keep this blog about surrogacy.  This week, the two merge so I figure it's okay haha.

I will have loads and loads of updates as the week goes on.  

I took an OPK last night, and it was darker again! I think I'll get a positive today :D  This mean insems tonight or tomorrow depending on my IPs.  I think the final test would be on the 8th either way, so I'm amazingly excited that my 2WW goes through another month, I find it's easier to think that December is close, and then that means the first 4 days are gone, and then there are only 8 days left lol I don't know.  Everyone hates the 2WW.

Please think of Candy today, she's been testing a few days for a + OPK and she's getting nervous haha  The latest day she could get a + is on the 30th I think.  I can't wait for her to get a + !!  Her and I will be amazingly close in gestation if we both get pregnant this month.  She's also using clomid, so we could both potentially b having twins as well.  I'm taking is because my cycle lengths are soo long [34 days] and it's healthier to have shorter cycle, which is what the clomid offers, which is a maximum of 32 days.  Those 2 days make a big difference!!  

Alrighty, I have a half hour before I have to be out the door now!! Soooo exciting, but I have to brush my teeth!! LOL  the kids aren't ven dressed, I woke up and realized that I hadn't blogged!  

If anyone has ideas on what I should talk about next blog, let me know!!  I usually have a small project that I'm researching about, but lately I was avoiding this since I had so much to do.  In return, I've been a bit boring hahahaha.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.  They are staying here but we are all computer addicts and tonight I will blog to give you all a play by play.


Saturday, November 27, 2010

It's Really Happening!

So, I started O testiing a couple days ago as you all know! 

Today when I tested, it was darker than usual... that is... there was a second line today!!  So I'm going to take them 12 hours apart now until we get a +!!  I took it at about 9am, so I'm going to take the next one at 9pm [another 9 hours and 10 minutes].  

My friends arrive in 21 hours 9 minutes!  How exciting is that!?

I'm having mild cramps, and I'm about to take some pamprin to see if it helps or not... if not it's not a big deal, the cramps aren't bad, just twinges.  

Hopefully next week I'll be able to switch over to real prenatal vitamins, the ones I'm taking I have to take three times a day and are less concentrated, as I usually can't take prenatal vitamins... too much for my system at one time lol

I have a friend named Candy who is also testing, so I'm hoping she gets a + today!!  She is also using clomid, and the latest she will ovulate is Wednesday I think.  Can't wait!!

I also have a friend named Joanne who is doing a transfer on the 3rd, so only a few days left for her, only 6 days!!

My friend Kare is waiting for her IF to get back from work [on the 10th] so that they can get down to the legal side of things and get contracts going.

Everyone is so busy!!  It's great!! And I hope they allll get pregnant this cycle!!  Pray for them!


Sunday, November 21, 2010

Less Than A Week!

Until our friends T and C arrive!!  We're all starting to bounce around and of course, I can never believe that they're actually coming.  It's like when you're in grade 5, and you dream of graduating, but it's surreal until you actually get there and they hand you that diploma.  Okay, even THEN you have a hard time to believe it.  Hopefully I won't be pinching myself and poking them to make sure they're not real the whole week.

I feel like I've known them forever, and them visiting has always been a "I wish" thing, never a "okay, we're planning on coming in x amount of months, let's make an itinerary for when we're there!".  Not that I wrote up an itinerary....  Okay... I actually am... but I mean... I may never see them again! I want to make sure they have fun!

Has anyone got any good ideas of activities we could do?

I'm barely nervous, and mostly excited.  I think I'm going to hug them and they're going to end up thinking I'm a freak... how do you greet someone who you've wanted to meet for 6 months?  They're like my best friends, and I've never met them.  They know all of my deep dark secrets, and I have never gazed into their eyes in person.  I've told them things and feelings that I wouldn't dare write in a journal of any kind, and I have never sat down at a meal with them.  It's just a little breath taking at first to realize that it's actually happening.

I want to work out a meal schedule too, interesting Canadian food only please!!  Hopefully they will also help cooking and add some English foods!!

CD 7 so far!!

Gotta love tracking cycles lol It's always on my mind.  Every morning I update myself on what CD I am and what it  means, check CM and cervical location... what a lot of work, which seems to be routine now :)

Alrighty, I'm done for now hahahahha

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!  4 days until T and C leave home to come!


Thursday, November 18, 2010

Just For Fun!

I found out that I can look at my stats!!  Here are some of them, this was the most interesting for me, and I had no idea that so many people actually read my blogs!! It completely blew my mind and had me blushing.  Nor did I know that I was sooo international :P Just kidding, I know exactly who looked at it from the UK and Australia, I kind of bugged them into it. But it looks good for me! LOL

It's a big blurry because I've made it a bit small to try to fit it on here without disturbing everything else on my page like the cycle calendars did [sorry about that by the way].

Finally Something Super Exciting!!

soooo hehe

I GOT MY CLOMID TODAY!!  Which  is ironic, because I also got birth control today [not to be used together lol].

I thought that everyone would want to know!! :D  I'm soo happy I'm jumping around!!  We'll be taking them days 5-9 for a first cycle.  The earlier in the cycle you do it, the better the results are.  3-7 would have been my first option either way, but not sure how that works once we have IPs etc.  You ovulate 5-10 days after the last pill, so keeping that in mind, scheduling is harder, and my doc recommended we started with a 5-9 day and move up.

The way follicles and clomid work are as such.

On CD1, you have many follicles starting to grow, about 20 per cycle.  On day 2, they start to die off as a woman's body only matures one egg a month, choosing the best of many follicles.  Day 3 is when you have about 10 still growing, and is also the day your body starts to really get serious about finding that one egg.  For those who have been trying clomid awhile, some may start on day 3 to get 2-3 eggs for higher chances.

Day 5-9 you usually get 1 egg, sometimes 2 depending.  It is lowest risk for hyperactivity in the ovaries.

by day 6, there is one egg bigger than the rest and your body takes that one egg to grow.

Think I covered it all :D

Anyway, we're super happy today even though I have to cancel the kids' appointments lol

Have a great day everyone.


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

And a Very Special Guest Arrived

AF started at 3:30pm on November 14th!  Obviously, we weren't panicked as much as annoyed, since I was verry moody.

There isn't much to update on unfortunately.

I have a couple coming from the UK who we LOVE to bits.  They're not coming to work with us unfortunately, but maybe one day we can work together, and they are soo close to us [emotionally].  They've never been to Canada before, so I'm kind of nervous to misrepresent us. lol.  We live in a green area of the country, so hopefully we'll find enough to do to keep them happy for the week they're here!!

I have talked them into staying with us and we are inthe process of transforming the back room for them :)  The baby will be staying in our room with us, which is fine, as we just moved him to his crib not long ago anyway.  It's alll very exciting so we're cleaning the house from top to bottom and making sure everything is in tip top shape for them to arrive!!

They are not rich, and are in the same income bracket as us, so we don't have the worry of being judged for our humble beginnings :D  They are shy, so I'm hoping that the kids will bring out their smiles and they can relax while here, since the entire purpose of them coming is to get away and try to forget all of their bad luck so far.  Hopefully they don't mind me saying this, and if they do this part will be removed, but they have had nothing but bad luck with surrogates so far, and I truly hope that this can take their mind off of it.  If nothing else, hopefully we can do that for a few days.

I will be posting pictures of us all, as I can't wait to meet them in person, and this may be the ONLY time I'll ever get to actually be with them again.  I'll call them T and C for now, as I haven't asked if I can use their names thus far.

I'm not even sure if anyone is reading this anymore... as I haven't had comments in awhile... but nonetheless, this is my journal of happenings and it's important to write this all down!!

I hope everyone has an AMAZING week!!


Friday, November 12, 2010


For AF to start.  I'm on CD 31.  grr

Jokes anyone?

PMS Joke 1:

A couple was sitting around their apartment; she was clipping coupons while he was reading the bible. The old man said to his wife, "You know honey, everything you ever wanted to know about life is in here."
She returned, "Well, maybe not EVERYTHING, dear."
He replied back, "Sure, just name one thing I can't find in here."
She said, "PMS-you won't find anything about it in there."
He began flipping through the pages, going from one chapter to another, pausing for a few seconds only before going on to the next page. After about 10 minutes, he looked up at his wife and said, "Aha! Here it is, I told you everything was in here."
Then he proceeded to begin reading the script "... and Mary rode Joseph's ass..."

PMS Joke 2:

Why do women call it PMS?
Because mad cow disease was already taken.

PMS Joke 3:

The 10 Definitive Signs of PMS are:
  1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
  2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
  3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
  4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
  5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, 'How's my driving? Call 1 800 ****"**.'
  6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
  7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
  8. You're counting down the days until menopause.
  9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
  10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

PMS Joke 4:

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.
ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT.
And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

PMS Joke 5:

  1. Pass My Shotgun
  2. Psychotic Mood Shift
  3. Pack My Stuff
  4. Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
  5. Perpetual Munching Spree
  6. Puffy Mid-Section
  7. People Make Me Sick
  8. Provide Me with Sweets
  9. Pardon My Sobbing
  10. Pimples May Surface
  11. Pass My Sweatpants
  12. Pissy Mood Syndrome
  13. Plainly Men Suck
  14. Who Cares? I'm not in the mood to play this anymore!!

Turning Over A New Leaf... Or Recycling The One I Have

I need to stop being so serious!!! I've had 0 comments for 2 blogs!! What the heck?!  lol

Hubs and I are finally sorting through the couples kind of.  These poor couples have to wait  until after Christmas to have confirmation.  I hate this soo much.  It's driving me crazy.  Of course, I will help my best friend either way.  Hubby tends to like the idea of a same sex couple, as he doesn't have to worry about them hitting on me etc [lol].

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

And So Alas... The Going Gets... Going

A lot of people are asking me all the time if I am searching for a new couple, and I have couples asking me to be exclusive.  Of course, this is not usually a delicate situation, and is excruciatingly hard to not want to help each couple who contacts me.  I truly do want to help them all... but of course I can't just line them up and say, okay, you're first, second, third ... it's not fair.  I am left to have to pick one.

Since my last post, which I know wasn't long ago, we've had a verrry close friend of ours ask us to be their surrogate.  Which of course makes it sound like an easy choice....  It isn't.  You get soo attached to these couples, where you want to just match them all up and go baby crazy.  You feel as though you talk about every aspect of their life, no matter how personal, and you speak of yours, putting your heart out for them, understanding where they come from.

I thought directly after the unmatching I was going to help our friend... period.  However, I didn't anticipate that other couples would have any interest.  If it were as easy as saying, I will help you such month of such year, it would make life soo much easier.  It leave me with a burning sadness in my chest to have to turn couples down, and I know that I am a surrogate, and have no idea what IPs truly go through, but I know the need and desire for a child, and I do believe that everyone deserves that need and desire fulfilled.

Alright, I didn't post pictures of the kids in their suits did I?  I also got flowers from my past IP's and they were just gorgeous, will have to post a picture of those too!

my dalmation
winnie the pooh
just me being silly
these are the flowers!!

Alright, so not sure if anyone wants the usual jokes, so I'll give you some more silly laws!

In certain sections of Pennsylvania many years ago, the Farmer's Anti-Automobile society set up some "rules of the road." In effect, they said:
1. "Automobiles travelling on country roads at night must send up a rocket every mile, then wait ten minutes for the road to clear."
2. "If a driver sees a team of horses, he is to pull to one side of the road and cover his machine with a blanket or dust cover that has been painted to blend into the scenery."
3. "In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner must take his car apart and conceal the parts in the bushes."
It is against the law to fish from horseback.
In Bexley, Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.
Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial costs.
No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding roosters to crow within the city limits.
A Kentucky statute says:
"No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses."
Harthahorne City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
These excerpts are from the book "Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton (Walker; $8.95) Enjoy!

Tata for now!!


Saturday, November 6, 2010

And The World Turns

Hey everyone... I was avoiding an update, but of course, that is not possible.

I have recently told my IPs I can no longer work with them.  I can not discuss why until we have decided what tg tell people... for now only leaving you with more questions than answers, and I apologize for that.

On another note, On Halloween night, I had a second gallbladder attack.  I was at the ER for a few hours and just now got my papers to tell me when my ultrasound is [December 14th].  We will only know after that what is going on, but I will keep everyone posted for surrogacy updates.

I was contacted by two same sex couples, one from BC and one from Nova Scotia.  Nothing is being done thus far, and do not want to be pressured into anything as I am still heart broken from the break down of my last contract.  Feel free to ask questions and I will write a blog to answer the ones I can :)


Saturday, October 30, 2010

Try To Be Happy When You're Sooo Sad....

So, at first, other surrogates were pregnant before I even arrived at the scene.  Of course, this is a wonderful thing and I was soo happy for them.  However, After I had matched, and signed and started to do inseminations, other surrogates also became pregnant for their intended parents.

As the weeks, and months, have gone by, I have found it harder and harder to congratulate other surrogates on confirmed pregnancies, and I know that it will be even harder as the months - and my cycles - pass by.  Of course, I am soo happy that they are seeing results.  However, as my friends and their partners get pregnant, and surrogates get pregnant, I seem to feel left out, and a little cheated.

I know this is self centered and I AM happy, honestly, that they are pregnant.  I want to give them all a big hug and throw them a party... after I run and get my jumbo size kleenex box and cry for a few hours.  I find myself jealous of all these women, deserving and not deserving of this gift, and I'm trying to figure out why, even though some of these women do not DESERVE children, should be blessed with them when people sooo deserving must stand by, and hope for miracles.  

I don't want to this turn into a "Blame God" blog, he is not to blame.  I just wish that he would allow me to understand why drug addicts can have 5 children to which they abuse and neglect... when it can take 15 years for a couple to adopt a child in need into a loving, safe and wholesome envirmonment... and why there are so many restrictions to adoption in a world of such need.

I'm most certainly not in a joking mood today, but I wanted to leave with you more than just sad thoughts.  

I also wanted to mention while I was here to look into Triffid Flax Seed.  It has absolutely nothing to do with Pregnancy or Surrogacy, but it DOES effect everyone globally, and usually I keep these little things to myself, but I think that it is going to have a major impact on the planet.  I will mention that the measures that they want to take are pointless, and I will explain in another blog.  To go into detail it could take me hours, but just read a short article about it.  It's important to know and to be aware of the things that happen around us.  This could change the way crops are made.  It is a possible way to have sustainable resources in the future, but if you look into it, there are risks and effects that have to be considered as well.  I first learned about Triffid Flax about a year ago, and I've been looking into it since, it's one of my many many projects :)  

Alright, I'll leave you a few jokes, not pregnancy related today, as I don't want to deal with pregnant people today haha

Hawaii Crazy Law

  • Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.

  • All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat. 

  • Honolulu

  • Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird. (SEC. 10-1.2) Why God Created Lawyers

    Satan was complaining bitterly to God, "You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get arrested, and cheat each other, and I get blamed, even when it is not my fault. Sure, I'm evil, but give me a break. Can't you do something to make them stop blaming me?"

    And so God created lawyers.

    Dumb Alabama Laws

  • It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

  • Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. 

  • You may not drive barefooted.

  • It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.

  • It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.

  • Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

  • Masks may not be worn in public.

  • Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death.

  • Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

  • Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

  • It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.

  • Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.

  • Incestous marriages are legal.

  • It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

  • You must have windshield wipers on your car.

    • You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. 



    Monday, October 25, 2010

    Yes... Yes It Has

    I know it has been awhile since I've updated everyone!! Keeping that in mind, I decided it was time. lol

    We are moving ahead and finally have a plan.  November is looking good haha.  My IF has taken leave from work [most of you are now finding your jaw on your lap, I know I had to] so that we could try.  Of course, at this point, I'm not sure what my IPs are going through considering all of the sacrifices they have already made to try to make this work.  

    Most of my readers understand that cycles are unpredictable.  There is no way to tell you all today when I will ovulation of course.  However, until AF comes, I can tell you all that IF will be coming around the 17th, as ovulation will be around the 19th if AF comes when she should.  

    We're waiting to see if I have other news, but for the time being, I don't... want some more filling?

    A woman went to the doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.

    The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?"

    The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.

    "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"

    A lady from a foreign country who could not understand much English wasn't feeling well and went to see her doctor. After examining her he said, "You are pregnant. Please understand that you have an insufficient passage and if you have a baby it will be a miracle."

    The lady rushed home crying and told her husband, "The doctor says I'm pregnant and I have a fish in the passage and if I have a baby it will be a mackerel!"

    A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth. The doctor told them that they'd developed a new machine and asked if the couple would like to try it out. The machine could take some of the pain of childbirth from the mother and give it to the father to ease the mother's burden.

    Well, they thought that was a good idea, and decided to give it a try. The doctor initially set the machine on 10 percent, telling the man that even 10 percent was probably more pain than he'd ever experienced. But the husband was surprised at how little pain he was feeling, and asked the doctor to raise the level.

    The doctor increased it to 20 percent, and when the man still felt fine, he raised it to 50 and finally 100 percent.

    After it was all over, the man stood up, and stretched a little. Both he and his wife felt fine, and they shortly left the hospital to take the baby home.

    It was then that they found the mailman dead on their doorstep.

    A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"

    The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
    "I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.

    "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
    "Like this?"
    "A little more..."
    "Like this?"
    "No. A little more..."
    "Like this?"
    "Yes. Does that hurt?
    "A little bit."
    "Now stretch it over your head!"

    Hope you all enjoyed!!!


    Friday, October 15, 2010

    To Answer Some Questoins... And Unfortunately... Confuse You A Bit More

    Hello Everyone;

    So everyone wants to know.. What's next?

    Unfortunately, I do not have those answers yet, although [trust me] I wish I did.  We're all hoping to have it arranged soon, although, IF's job isn't very easy to work around for the time being.  There are a few ideas up in the air but YES we ARE trying again without a shadow of a doubt. 

    None of us are giving up, I don't think it is in our nature. 

    Of course, there are things I have to speak to Josh about first, it is fine for them to come to us again, but the main problem is that I am hoping to try clomid this time, and the only way for me to get it is to go there to start the treatments. 

    This is of course still a bit fresh to us all, and I know myself, am still shocked that it did not take. 

    God works in mysterious ways ... as most of you know.  There is a reason for everything, that is the only sure thing.... no one knows WHY things happen... they just do.    It's hard to tell yourself that as a surrogate... it is hard to convince yourself that it was out of your hands. 

    If you have any questions, post them as comments, and I will make a new blog... I can't comment on my own posts for some reason... so this is really the only way to get back to everythone.

    Thank you for commenting, I LOVE to read your thoughts and feelings, and thank you for joining me and following me on this journey. 


    Wednesday, October 13, 2010

    Small Update


    AF started today... actually... technically yesterday [October 12th] at 2:45pm. 

    I cried instantly when I seen the blood and I thought it was a cruel joke... how could this have possibly happened to us?  Why wouldn't it have worked?  How could it not work?  I got pregnant so easily with our own children... why is this any different.  Unfortunately, it was NOT a cruel joke, and it WAS for real.

    I know that God works in mysterious ways.... I have to be grateful that AF didn't start on Thanksgiving Day....  This seems just so cruel.  Keeping in mind that it takes perfectly healthy couples more than one shot in most cases, I have tried to settle my feelings with the following reasons why surrogacy is SO different from conceiving on your own, with your own partner.
    1. There are stresses involved with surrogacy that you would never face while conceiving at home [ie: knowing that your IPs have spent so much money on treatment/travel, you have one can not just roll over and say "Honey... let's have some fun!!", you are not the only ones hoping it takes, there are two families waiting on results etc]
    2. You have money riding on the results as well.
    3. As a surrogate, you come to love your Intended Parents, and feel their want and need for it to take just as much as yours.
    4. We are all taking extra reprocautions that we would not usually take when trying for our own child [ie:prenatal vitamins, buying special foods] because this is not our child, and want to have the healthiest child possible to pass over to their parents [this is what Intended Parents trust us to do].
    5. As a surrogate, we are out to please our Intended Parents, that would mean getting pregnant...NOW!
    There are so many things that could happen.  You fall in love with these people and their whole family, you want nothing but the best, but this can also alter your sense of being. 

    Stressing over all of those things can alter ovulation.. which is certainly NOT something we all want.  This is why a lot of TS's feel the need to be on fertility medications... to have reassurance.  As a GS *in most cases* two embryos are sent in... this is not always just because their IPs want twins, but also because it is reassurance that at least one will take. 

    This is something I have tried to do myself, however, I can not have these sent to me from online because Canada Post will not allow it.  It is the same in the UK and in France.  I did not know this.  So, for all of the potential TS's from Canada, please bear in mind that you would need someone to physically bring you these medications from the US or another country. 

    I'm sorry I'm a bit gloomy today. 

    With this surrogacy I've learned a lot about myself, as I'm sure many first time surrogates do. 

    I've learned that I may get attached to people too easily.  I'm not talking about the fetus I will be carrying, but my Intended Parents.  I realized that this may have actually stunted us, as I cared too much about how much money and how this is effecting them too much... this added to the other stresses of surrogacy.  There is soo much you learn about getting attached in this business, but that is one I had not expected.

    I've learned that I have to stand up for what I believe in.  At the beginning of this journey, I may have thought that as long as my IP's were happy, it is all that truly mattered... now I know that that is not correct, and we ALL have to live outside this surrogacy.  You can't cut off your other relationships in this journey, and you find that it is very hard to remember that when surrogacy is all consuming.  Everything you do, everywhere you go... it is always there, and you are always thinking about making healthy decisions for their baby.

    These are things that you don't know about until you are there.  They are not BAD things... but are things that are quickly discovered.  It is important to find yourself when you go through this, especially a first surrogacy where you are simply gaining the experience and trying to enjoy it all and take every bit of it in.

    Some people will never know the things about themselves that I will by the end of my first surrogacy, and as I do this onward, I hope to keep learning about my self and other cultures and life styles....  I'm so grateful to have learned everything I have so far.

    I truly hope that no one picks out all my grammatical errors and my run ons (it really was the biggest point destroyer in English during high school).  I'm sorry this is so long as well, but I haven't had a good honest post in awhile, and I definitely thought I owed it to everyone who is still following us on our journey. I also apogolize if I have repeated myself... it is really late here and I've been told I have a way with words - and a way of repeating them. haha

    With that, I sign off with a smile on my face... and I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving weekend!


    Friday, October 8, 2010

    Getting Close...Losing Patience

    We are 8 or 9 dpo depending on when ovulation happened, since it happened over night. 

    We test in 3 days from now and it certainly does seem like a far way to go at this point.  I was the lady with 14 pregnancy tests yesterday at the mall.  The clerk looked at me like I was CRAZY.  I told her I wanted to be sure, and she asked if 1-3 would have been enough, and of course, I said... I would have been as certain as if I had 14!

    I can't wait to test! I am starting to get nervous though.  We've had a few symptoms already, so we're all just praying for a great test result, if not I'm going to get a blood test to be certain.  It's a little nerve wracking haha.  I feeeel pregnant already, and I don't now why I'm stressing about this. I'm already thinking about little girl characteristics!  haha

    I'll post some belly pictures soon, I went to the mall today and I got a few comments about it. lol 

    Okay... not sure what else to blog about hahahaha

    See you all later
    God Bless


    Sunday, October 3, 2010


    Days left until we test.  It's really closer to 7.5.

    I just got home from Montreal, and had a great time for the 9 or so hours I was actually there and have a few pics!

    Ignore the dates... my camera SUCKS haha

    So, I did almost 30 hours of travelling for 9 hours in Montreal hahaha.  It was soo fun and I'm so grateful that I got to go!! 

    So the count down is ON!  On the morning of the 11th, we will be testing :)  That will make us 10 days past ovulation.  It can take up to 14 days past ovulation, so hopefully it'll be good nd it'll turn up when we want it to!

    Not sure what else to update on!  Our last insemination was October 2nd at 4pm.  That was just in case :)  But I'm positive that the sperm and egg met late the night before :)

    Okay, so... ask any questions!


    Thursday, September 30, 2010

    The Excitement...It's Too Much!

    I have some great news for everyone!! Here.. I'll show you instead!
    This was taken last night

    This was taken only 3 hours later

    And here is the one from today
    These are ovulation tests... not pregnancy tests.

    We arent telling anyone until 8 weeks either way.  The reason for his is because we want t be sure it has worked and we will be looking forward to January either way, whether it be for inseminations or 2nd trimester visit.

    Please don't bother asking about pregnancy test results because I will just say that we are excited for January.

    Sooo...time to jump around!



    Tuesday, September 28, 2010


    Okay...time for some fun!

    My Intended Father arrived early yesterday morning and spend the day with the chldren and I.  We went for a walk with a friend of mine and her son and had supper and kept occupied :)

    By the time hubby got was late and I had send IF home hoping for him to get some rest. 

    Today is I Day...that is.. Insemination day lol  I found this wicked chart online..hold on and I'll show you guys actually...

    Hold on... I have to resave as I now have a different computer and for some reason I forgot that I need to re-save it now hahahahahaha ..should have had a V8 right?

    sorry they're so big... but it was this or you couldn't see the words lol
    Here is the chart I like to look at actually....not that I don't like to look at hte other...but this one is more encouraging I guess.

    The second chart is for a girl..which is what we're aiming for! it is time to get super excited!!

    That's the update for now...will come back tomorrow for a new one though!!


    Friday, September 24, 2010


    An American man is riding a train in a European country. His seatmate knows some English, and they end up chatting. The seatmate asks if the American has children. The American says no.
    "Ah, so sad," says the European. "Your wife, she is impregnable?" "Well, um, that's not exactly the word," says the American. "Oh!" interrupts the European. "I mean, she is inconceivable?" "Um, not quite --" the American begins, only to be interrupted again. "Oh, no, that isn't right," says the European. "She is, what is it, she is unbearable?" "Well, actually, that's pretty much sums it up," says the American.

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them."
    The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!"
    She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
    "Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"
    "Denephew. "

    Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you if its still okay..."
    "I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
    "No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."

    The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
    The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
    The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
    "Yes?" replied the teacher.
    "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

    Pregnancy and Birth  - F.A.Q.

    • Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs ?
      A: You'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all
    • Q: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control ?
      A: A misconception
    • Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant ?
      A: Have sex just once a year
    • Q: What is a chastity belt ?
      A: A labor-saving device
    • Q: When does a woman's biological clock start ticking ?
      A: Right after she looks in the mirror and thinks, "On my God, crow's feet !"
    • Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving ?
      A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant
    • Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex ?
      A: Childbirth
    • Q: Should I have a baby after 35 ?
      A. No, 35 children is way too many already
    • Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move ?
      A: With any luck, right after he finishes college
    • Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu ?
      A: If it's the flu, you'll get better
    • Q: Does pregnancy affect a woman's memory ?
      A: Most of the ladies I asked don't remember
    • Q: My breasts, rear end & even my feet have grown.  Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy ?
      A: Yes, your bladder
    • Q: Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving ?
      A: Depends on what your doing with them
    • Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why ?
      A: Cause you're fatter then they are,
    • Q: My wife is 5 months pregnant and so moody that she's borderline irrational.
      A: So what's your question ?
    • Q: Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor ?
      A: When the sex is between your husband and another woman
    • Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold ?
      A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him
    • Q: What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy ?
      A: Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder
    • Q: What are forceps ?
      A: Giant baby tweezers
    • Q: What's the best way to get a man to give up his seat to a pregnant woman ?
      A: Brute force
    • Q: How do I know if my baby has dropped ?
      A: He/She will start crying. Be more careful !
    • Q: How long is the average woman in labor ?
      A: Whatever she says, divided by two
    • Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right ?
      A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current
    • Q: When is the best time to get an epidural ?
      A: Right after you find out you're pregnant
    • Q: Is there a reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor ?
      A: Not unless the word "alimony" is a concern for you
    • Q: I'm modest. Once I start to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position ?
      A: Authorized hospital personnel only -- doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.
    • Q: What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning ?
      A: It means you feel as thought not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make it's way out of you
    • Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth ?
      A: Yes, pregnancy
    • Q: Does labor cause hemorrhoids ?
      A: Labor causes anything you want to blame it for
    • Q: When should a baby not be circumcised ?
      A: When it's a girl.
    • Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk ?
      A: In your breasts
    • Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps ?
      A: Yes, baby lips
    • Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth ?
      A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse
    • Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing ?
      A: When you see teeth marks
    • Q: What is the grasp reflex ?
      A: The reaction of new father's when he sees new mother's breasts.
    • Q: Can a mother get pregnant while nursing ?
      A: Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.
    • Q: What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away ?
      A: They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in case of global chemical warfare.
    • Q: Do I have to have a baby shower ?
      A: Not if your change the baby's diaper very quickly
    • Q: What causes baby blues ?
      A: Tanned, hard-bodied bimbos
    • Q: What is colic ?
      A: A reminder for new parents to use birth control
    • Q: What are night terrors ?
      A: Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she's pregnant again
    • Q: Nannies aren't cheap are they ?
      A: Not usually, but occasionally you'll find a floozy
    • Q: Will I love my dog less when the baby is born ?
      A: No, but your husband will most likely get on your nerves
    • Q: What are the terrible twos ?
      A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey
    • Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to act normal ?
      A: Possibly when the kids are in college
    The Delivery
    A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
    The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
    But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.
    The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well.
    Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
    When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.