When Not To Assume

I had to post this today.  I know I try to express my feelings as much as I can to you so that you can understand what it is like to be a surrogate.

Well, I had been speaking to an amazing same sex couple only 5.5 hours away from me, which is the closest I've even encountered who were searching for a traditional surrogate.  I hadn't had contact with them for a few weeks, and seeing as how they were so perfect, I figured they had found someone and didn't know how to tell me.

I was wrong.

They had simply taken time out, away from it all.  I got a message asking me what was new from them, honestly quite surprised to hear from them.  As you can imagine, they were quite upset with me.  I asked them to read my blog, and as soon as they had, they had messaged me.  I felt absolutely horrible.  I was crying.  Like I had let a close friend down.  Broken a promise.  Tattled on a friend to whom had kept secrets for you in the past.

This world is filled with both glorious and horrendous surprises... this was not one of those glorious ones.  I was fully expecting them to tell me that they had been matched and writing up contracts.  I'm not only in shock, but in despair, for they are truly a great couple.  I'm sad that this has happened, truly, and I hope that this does not happen to anyone else.  It is quite heart breaking to know that you've completely shattered a couple's heart. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to call them or message them when/if I become available in all honesty, since I don't know if they even ever want to talk to me again.

If they decide to read this.. all I can say is that I'm so sorry... although, I know that will never help what I've done and I can only pray that it even makes a difference.  They are definitely a couple I would want to work with, and I have to tell everyone, if you're a surrogate, these guys would be absolutely wonderful.  I'm just sorry I won't be working with them.

Cathleen