Thursday, April 25, 2013

A Few Things Today

Last night I received my itinerary for the trip! Everything is booked, and now I just have to know how long to wait?

Only 1M2D left! CRAZY!

I've gone a bit OCD about it all, I have my wardrobe for the trip decided, now I'm choosing what shoes to bring!

I also have other big news.

I'm on CD3! My cycle has FINALLY returned, 8.5 months post partum. I am OFFICIALLY in the cycling process now! I need at least 2 normal cycles before I can start medication. Everyone ready for those huge needles? I'm not! haha

I'm not sure when an estimated transfer date will be giving, or even start of meds date. I guess we'll have to wait and see after the screening is all done.

We are also going over the contract, I had like 2 pages of foods that were prohibited/restricted...I almost cried, and then decided that it was crazy and I couldn't be restricted like that as long as I'm following my Dr's orders. It said NO pop at all. What happened to most things in moderation? Sheesh. My IP's have obviously never been pregnant, so it's all new to them, so we're just finding what makes everyone comfortable (and fed lol).

I spoke to them again over the weekend, I did miss their first call though, which I did feel bad for, but they called an hour later. Not a huge deal.

I guess I have something serious to talk about today though. I wasn't sure how to blog this, as it's not really something I would blog about.

I asked Josh for a divorce about 4 weeks ago.

It wont' be effecting the surrogacy because we are both going to still sign the contract, as he is still legally my husband, and will be at the signing of the contract. This is important because because we're married, he could claim the baby/babies are his, causing for a huge problem. Of course, he would never do that, but I also want my IF's to feel comfortable with it, and let's be honest, this is a huge deal.

We were together over 7 years, and it's no secret to the people close to us, and now to many others, that he had affairs in the past, that I can't get over. I thought I could, and after therapy, time, a lot of tears, and feeling as though I've failed as a wife, I've come to the conclusion that life is just too short to be hurting every day, and everyone deserves to be happy.

He is still living here, as he's going to be starting his college literally 4 days...and it benefits everyone right now for him to stay here. We haven't really sat down with the kids and spoke about it a WHOLE lot yet, but they know that mommy and daddy will no longer share a room, we won't be kissing or cuddling anymore. They haven't asked "why" yet, as they're only 2 and 4...but when that day comes I'm hoping it won't be something that scars them for life and ruins any chance of them having healthy, normal relationships later haha.

I still have a wonderful support system. I still have financial security. I still feel great about doing this surrogacy. We're not fighting about anything, which is a huge thing. I'm hoping it'll be quick, but know you can't go back and delete over 7 years of your life with someone, you can only start a new page in the book. So, for now, that's what I'm doing!

Life is just too short...and we all deserve to wake up happy, and go to bed with no regrets.

Here's to having no regrets!