Monday, March 28, 2011

19 Weeks... Big Ultrasound TOMORROW!

Hey everyone!

I know I haven't been around nearly as much as I should be.. but I'm going to be honest with you all... my life... has been soo boring LOL

So, we hit 19 weeks on Saturday.. wow.. where has the time gone?  We have about 17-18 weeks left about [hopefully that much time anyway, could be any time after 11 weeks from now :O].

Soo... my newest and more severe symptom... has been lower back pain.  Holy smokes.  Ouchies.  Some days are a LOT worse than others, some days I'm fine and it just bothers me the last hour or two of my day.  Some days though, I wake up and it already hurts, so I'll be stretching more and putting hot/cold compress and massage every night soon.  Yesterday - was a bad day.  lol  By about noon, the pain was so bad that I was nearly in tears when the pain would run from mylower back to my knee, and it would paralyze me were not moving hurt sooo much, but moving did too, so having to move to get comfortable again wasn't really working for me lol 

My pelvic pain has been much better though, so that's a BIG plus! 

Still not sleeping much, but I'm hoping that that will change when I start to stretch more often and watch what I do a bit more, I know I did A LOT of walking last week, and honestly that could be the cause of all the pain right now.  So, going to remind myslf that I have to WORK UP to walking again with the kids, and no matter who I'm walking with or fast they are going, I have to slooowwww down.  I've been cooped up in the house for MONTHS and I can't just tell my body that "well, I know you're much bigger, have a lot more fluid, and have more weight to carry around... but let's try to be as fit as you were 3 months ago when you were walking almost every day!"  ... my body.... would go on strike lol.

Alright... so of course I have my 19 week belly pictures hehe

Yep... that would be my belly button lol  Every day I'm finding more and more that it's nearly popped.  I think by 22-23 weeks, it will be completely popped outward, and I'm suspecting that a stretch  mark should make it's way across my stretch markless belly by about 30 weeks if I keep growing at this pace haha

So, a little update on how each baby should be doing, according to

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.
Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

As most of you know, my big ultrasound is tomorrow, and as far as I know  I can share measurements and presentation of each baby but not the sexes YET.  I AM hoping to be able to let you guys know after the appointment on Friday.

I've noticed that there are a little changes being made to my belly day to day.  The last few days, I've found that my bump is HIGHER and is less poppy ... lol  If that makes any sense at ALL I'll be surprised.  I'm realllllly hoping that the baby's stay one on top of other other though, as there is a lower risk of them both trying to come out at the same time, and less risk of csection.

Which brings me to answer a question.  Someone asked me why I wouldn't just have an elective csection and not deal with labor at all.  Wellllll...  lol

Csection = much longer healing time, it will make it harder for me to be matched with other couples who I wouldwant to help in the future, and the pain that lasts for weeks after the csection is NOTHING compared to maybe one day of pain for labor.  Healing time is faster, less risk of infection.  There is some studies that show that csection is harder on babies than vaginal birth [after 28 weeks] and I don't like the thought of possibly being put to sleep either.

Natural Labor = more parental involvement.  More control over my body and healing time.  Being able to pump DIRECTLY after birth.  Being able to share and film the labor [hopefully]. No bedrest afterward.  ELaving hospital in 24 hours instead of 4-5 days.  Better weightloss and health recouperation time.  Easier for me to match with other couples, and being able to help MORE couples.

For me, labor is NOTHING compared to surgery, I've had a breast reduction, and two natural, non-medicated births with back labor... give me the back labor!! 

This choice isn't for everyone, I just believe that this is what is right for ME. 

I had soe other questions this week as well that I would like to share and answer.

I will leave this message ANONYMOUS, but I will post the email and answer them FOLLOWING the email ... okay?

I was wondering what made you choose T & C as your IP's and if you did it again what would be different/same as them. what will happen after labour? will they have a separate room in the hospital to stay with the babies? will they stay at your place after you have the babies? I think you should also talk about the complications of doing a surrogacy for someone overseas such as adoption of the babies or how you were originally thinking of having the babies there.

I think it's such an interesting surrogacy, especially because they are overseas and you are basically doing it on your own.

Some other questions for the blog (because I'm nosey! haha)

Do you have a set schedule for pictures or updates or just random updates after you have them?

Would you ever do a surrogacy for an overseas couple again?

How has the surrogacy been different from your expectations?

Do your IP's have concerns about your thyroid medications affecting the babies? "
When you meet IP's, you have to first think ...can I live with these people for 9 months of my life, and then can I trust them to raise this child properly... neither of which you can actually answer until you have gone through the nine not very helpful right lol
Every surrogate just makes the best judgement call you can.  Most of the time, you haven't known these people for all of your life.. you don't meet their entire families... it just doesn't happen.  Therefore.. unfortunately, you just have to HOPE you made the right choice by the things they've told you and the way they have reacted thus far into the surrogacy. 
Remember that MANY relationships go sour either during the surrogacy, or afterward.  I wanted to help the MOST deserving couple, who were in the MOST need.  That can always be a difficult thing to do.
In the hospital, after the birth, I will sign over my parental rights, and nothing is final, since we don't know when the babies will be born.  If the babies are well enough to stay in the hospital room, we have spoken about getting a joint room so that I won't have to bother with bringing milk all over the place all the time.  If they are in the NICU, I have to talk to the hospital and see where we go from there.  As far as I know, usually the mother stays in thehospital, but not sure for our situation.
With overseas surrogacy like this, they will h ave to wait for the birth certicate and then passports to bring the babies back home, where she will adopt both babies under her name.  It's a little complicated, but I will update you all on how it goes when we get to that point :)
Unfortunately in surrogacy, although the IP's have to trust the surrogat for 9 months, we as surrogates have to sit back and hope tht the IP's follow through with their part of the deal.... to keep on contact with us after the birth.  There is not set schedule as of yet, but I'm hoping maybe I could speak to them about this and see what that goes.  I knwo that they will be sending pictures as often as they can [hopefully that won't be like every year or something lol] and I'm hoping that they still want to skype with me after the birth and after they are home.  Everything changes after the babies are born, they have total control over the babies at that point, and they may feel the need to cut me out a lot more than they feel they would at this point.. seeing as how they haven't had the chance to even hold them yet... sio, although I should have set up a schedule, I'm praying that they just keep up their side of the deal. 
At THIS time... I would have to say no, I wouldn't do overseas surrogacy again unless they were filthy rich and could make it to the appointments.  I have found it very lonely to go to every appointment and ultrasound alone, and quite honestly... I don't think I could do TS again if the parents weren't a lot more involved.  it's just too hard on me and my family.  Things could change, but as of right NOW... no I won't do another overseas surrogacy.
I think every first surrogacy is a kick in the "expectations" box.  I didn't expect to feel so alone all the time.  I didn't expect that the money that I asked for a singleton pregnancy wouldn't nearly cover a multiple pregnancy [in my defense, I've never been pregnant with multiples].  I'm hoping that the end result is more joyous and worth it than I expected, because the surrogacy has been more rough that I had ever imagined thus far.  Not all of it has to do with the surrogacy, but life in general has kicked me in the butt the last few months, and it's been 10x worse to try to cope while pregnant.  Again, having IP's who were MUCH closer and available to be here with me would have been so much easier at a time like this.
With the medication I'm on, I'm on the lowest dose.  There would have been some bad side effects that were possible IF it wasn't under control, IF the medication was a much higher dose and IF it had caused other possible complicated associated with hyperthyroidism.  Thankfully, it was under control in even less time than they expected, and the risk to the babies and myself on thsi medication is close to zilch.  Being on the medication, I have a higher risk of Pre Eclampsia, Gestational Diabetes and Premature Labor... the good news is that the risk is only a concern past 15mg per day... we're only at 5mg per day.  They have my blood pressure under watch, as well as any bacteria in my urine, and so far, everything looks AMAZING and hasn't changed!  So, yes, there are risks, but it is different for every person.  I have no medical history for high blood pressure or even swelling unless I was on my feet all day, and even then, if I had put my feet up and drank some nice ice water, I was fine within 10 minutes :D 
I hope that answered all of the questions well. 
People ask me if there are things like mixed emotions, or occasional frustration toward my IP's out.  Yes I do.  I hnestly don't like it when I get a message from my IP's saying that people may take things this way or that way, that it may upset their partner etc, and it's very stressful and tiring to have to change the way I express myself to suit someone else's views and lifestyle.  So, to keep my IP's and general public happy, I leave a lot of personal emotion OUT.  As well, I get people who critisize on MY opinions... at first I thought.. well... it's MY blog... so yeah... I'm going to have an opinion, get used to it.  But then I just got tired of it all, and I just decided that it just was not worth it!
Anyway, I have to get an early night tonight, it's been a long day haha
I'll be back tomorrow to update <3
Have a great day/night everyone!!