Thursday, August 26, 2010
Even though I had decided on them before this point, we were officially matched July 11th. Daily chats, for HOURS. This was a must for me, I needed to have contact, needed to know how she was doing, what she was thinking. It was now a routine. Even though there was a 13 hour time difference, me MADE it work.
I started my ovulation testing the same month.
Positive OPK July 12.
Positive OPK July 14.
Positive OPK July 17.
AF started July 29th... this was the beginning of our first cycle... I wanted to jump for joy... the excitement was almost too much to bear. And then it sank in.. they were coming to meet me and my family. This is something that will happen in 2 weeks.
First instinct.. panic.
Second.. attempt not to stress.
Somehow.. no matter how much someone tells you NOT to stress... it only make it worse. Why is that?!
They left home on the 9th of August. They had to drop their son off with relatives, spend the day there and then start flying over.. half way across the earth. It is just as difficult as it sounds... I promise.
They arrived at the airport at 4:03pm on August 12th. THAT was not as simple as you may believe. I had a friend with me... I was so nervous I NEEDED a friend with me haha We watched for them to get off the plane. Our eyes sifted through the people, one by one by one. It seemed like eternity.... Until FINALLY we seen them.
My heart was pumping.. although it felt like my body was pumping.
What do I?
Hands were shaking.
How do I introduce myself?
Hi... I'm Cathleen... let's get me knocked up....
Do I just say hi and help them with their luggage?
The room seemed soo small at that point.. although, in all honestly, it was.
So I just stood there.. like an idiot.. waiting for them to come through the doors... I wanted to shout... I needed a vent... but had none. Still shaking, probably white as a ghost....
And then it happened.. it just.. happened.
They stepped through the doors, everyone smiling... and there it was... hugs!! Everyone got a nervous hug. You can laugh I know I am thinking of it.
They met my son at the airport, who was irritated at this point, but that was okay.
A few nervous, awkward seconds later (which felt like hours..) we walked over to the luggage area.
Went to get rental car.
Went to hubby's work ... but he was busy.
This is where they met my little princess. They were smiley and great with her. I was so happy that she took to them so well.
We waited for Josh to get home to sign the contracts. We had learned that he needed to sign it to say that he supported me, would not get me pregnant during the process and that he would not harm their baby in any way. So we signed... with shaky hands. I was so excited. I wanted to squeal like a school girl... but of course.. somehow kept it in.
After they contract was signed [twice, since we each had a copy for reference], we went out for Subway. It was the best Subway I ever had.. my nerves were crazy though, I could only finish half.
We went back home and we talked and talk and talked.. until the early hours of the morning. It was amazing.
We then did the insemination... which was not awkward at all, but it was relaxing.. and it broke the ice in so many ways.
We knew that there was little chance.. but it was worth the try. I had ovulated early, and there was only a sliver of a chance that we actually caught the egg. I was extremely thankful that they came anyway though.
Even now, looking at it... I get a chill of excitement.. but sorrow as well, since I will not get to see my Intended Mother for a few more months.
They stayed for 6 days. It was just amazing. I won't write everything we did, but it was jam packed with great experiences.
When they left, I felt as though I was missing family... in those 6 precious days... they really had become family to us. So much was learned about them. This was the couple I was going to carry a baby for! This was it! What a wonderful way to feel.
They left August 18th, but stopped by at 4:56am to say good bye... when they left, I cried.
And now.. more planning is under way. It is all so exhilarating.
If I am feeling this way.. how are they coping?!
As I found... the decision to be a surrogate was much easier than understand what that decision MEANT.
I understand the main parts... carrying a child for someone else who can not. Check.
I signed onto a site where I could ask around for additional information... really understand what "carrying a child for someone else who can not" meant. I wanted to be an egg donor... so... what was that called?
Was there another kind?
Apparently so... Gestational Surrogate.
So.. what was right for me?
I met this amazing couple who live only a few hours away from me. They were a same sex couple, who had been through a lot as it was. Before they had gotten together, one of them had already had surrogate. However, at birth, she changed her mind. He had trust her enough that he thought they didn't need a contract... and he sees his son 36 hours a week. I really felt for them, and wanted to help. They had an egg donor already, so everything was a go.
Not so much.
We soon found out that I did not qualify for IVF treatments. We parted our ways, promising to keep in touch. I was so sad... I felt so guilty.
However, the search was on again.
Learning more began.
Researched until my eyes wanted to jump out of my head... I would never get into another match unless I knew everything I could.
Asked more questions.
I started to research for other people also. This helped, as they were asking valid questions... maybe questions I should have asked. I found that I really enjoyed helping... a lot. I liked looking things up for them. I was so grateful for this site... where would I have been without them?
June 29th, I had contact from a couple in Australia... maybe this was the start of something amazing... she seemed nervous, and at the same time, so was I.
And my journey began.