Thursday, December 9, 2010

Drum Roll Please!

BAM! We got our first positive last night at about 7dpo.  Of course, no one knows the exact time of ovulation, so its hard to narrow down.  What I DO know is that it was between 1pm on the 1st and 1am on the 2nd, so theres a big difference there, and it could very well be why we had our hopes up so early already for our beloved +.

Alright, of course, I took pics for you!

I think I was just as excited and happy and teary eyed as my IPs were.  I cant believe that I am on this journey with them and we are allll soooo excited about this and hope that maybe we will have twins come from this!

My computer crashed on me two days ago, which is why I didnt blog IMMEDIATELY.  However, I am currently at the library trying to use up my one precious hour wisely.  I wanted to share this with you, as I know some of you are very loyal to my updates, and this is sooo amazingly excited for us all. 

For an update on me, I have been quite simply EXHAUSTED the last two days.  I woke up this morning, I opened my eyes after nearly 12 hours of sleep.  I looked around, and I looked at hubbys phone, not believing what time it really was, and that the children let me sleep in until 830.  I felt very groggy, I felt very heavy, like I had somehow gained 5 lbs over night (which is a lot for me who measured in at 97 lbs just two weeks ago).  I felt like I was getting up at 4am to go pee, and I know anyone who has ever been pregnant knows that when you go to the washroom that early in the morning, your body knows its still night time and it knows to go back to sleep as soon as your body hits the bed again and you're warm enough.

I have felt like I'm constantly eating.  I know that sounds so silly, as I dont know anyone who's first symptoms were just excessive hunger.  I even get mild hunger pains if I dont eat every 3-4 hours.  Today, I woke up and I admit I ate very late, I only ate at about 1230pm, but I did have a big snack this morning.  I had a deli sandwich at subway, then a second one, and then 3 cookies, a bag of chips, a large chocolate milk and then I went home... where I then two hours ate another 6 inch sub, made a pb & j sandwich and .5 litres of water.  It has been just over two hours since then, and Im hungry again for another meal. 

I can't wait to get more belly pictures up on here to show you guys how bloated I am, I feel so full and heavy and a little stretched to be honest.  TMI warning, but I've had a lot of gas, which could be caused from all the eating lol

No nausea unless I dont sleep more than 6-7 hours a night, which is probably just the excitement etc.

I dont know what to add!! I'm just so happy!  I'm keeping up with my personal journal currently at home for my IPs... I hope they like that more than this hahaha I have more time to think at home than when I'm put on a one hour time limit to spit everything out LOL

I just feel soo blessed that they allowed me to attempt to help them on this horrible path of infertility, and I know that I could never ever ever understand the hurt and frustration they have been through in these many years of trying to finally expand their family.  I wish that I could just reach out and hug everyone touched with this horrible fate.  For those of us who know people who can not have children of their own, please say a prayer tonight... not necessarily that they will have a baby, but that they can find closure in any way they find suitable for them.

If I knew today that it would help people, I would give up my fertility to someone else.

If I knew that I would help more people doing that than doing surrogacy, I would without a thought give that away.

So many people on this Earth are blessed with being extremely fertile, and a lot of us dont use it to the fullest potential.  When so many are hurting so badly, I find that its a shame that they aren't, but I understand that not everyone can do what I do, and not everyone is willing to try what I am doing.  For those of us out there who are TRYING to make a difference, whether you are a surrogate, a counsellor or a really good friend, thank you.  It is people like you who allow infertility to have a voice, and I think it should speak out.  Unlike cancer, you can not beat infertility.  You can not hide infertility.  It is a life long hurt, and it is a life long term for some people of imprisonment, that their own bodies have failed them. 

Please reach out to those around you.  Hug them.  Help them understand and accept what they can not change, for everyone is perfect in THEIR OWN WAY.  We are all a perfect portrait.  We are all capable to change the world, one step at a time. 

Thank you for reading today.  I wont be able to blog for a couple more days, but please please please... if you are dealing with infertility, to NOT feel alone.


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