Saturday, October 30, 2010

Try To Be Happy When You're Sooo Sad....

So, at first, other surrogates were pregnant before I even arrived at the scene.  Of course, this is a wonderful thing and I was soo happy for them.  However, After I had matched, and signed and started to do inseminations, other surrogates also became pregnant for their intended parents.

As the weeks, and months, have gone by, I have found it harder and harder to congratulate other surrogates on confirmed pregnancies, and I know that it will be even harder as the months - and my cycles - pass by.  Of course, I am soo happy that they are seeing results.  However, as my friends and their partners get pregnant, and surrogates get pregnant, I seem to feel left out, and a little cheated.

I know this is self centered and I AM happy, honestly, that they are pregnant.  I want to give them all a big hug and throw them a party... after I run and get my jumbo size kleenex box and cry for a few hours.  I find myself jealous of all these women, deserving and not deserving of this gift, and I'm trying to figure out why, even though some of these women do not DESERVE children, should be blessed with them when people sooo deserving must stand by, and hope for miracles.  

I don't want to this turn into a "Blame God" blog, he is not to blame.  I just wish that he would allow me to understand why drug addicts can have 5 children to which they abuse and neglect... when it can take 15 years for a couple to adopt a child in need into a loving, safe and wholesome envirmonment... and why there are so many restrictions to adoption in a world of such need.

I'm most certainly not in a joking mood today, but I wanted to leave with you more than just sad thoughts.  

I also wanted to mention while I was here to look into Triffid Flax Seed.  It has absolutely nothing to do with Pregnancy or Surrogacy, but it DOES effect everyone globally, and usually I keep these little things to myself, but I think that it is going to have a major impact on the planet.  I will mention that the measures that they want to take are pointless, and I will explain in another blog.  To go into detail it could take me hours, but just read a short article about it.  It's important to know and to be aware of the things that happen around us.  This could change the way crops are made.  It is a possible way to have sustainable resources in the future, but if you look into it, there are risks and effects that have to be considered as well.  I first learned about Triffid Flax about a year ago, and I've been looking into it since, it's one of my many many projects :)  

Alright, I'll leave you a few jokes, not pregnancy related today, as I don't want to deal with pregnant people today haha

Hawaii Crazy Law

  • Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.

  • All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat. 

  • Honolulu

  • Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird. (SEC. 10-1.2) Why God Created Lawyers

    Satan was complaining bitterly to God, "You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get arrested, and cheat each other, and I get blamed, even when it is not my fault. Sure, I'm evil, but give me a break. Can't you do something to make them stop blaming me?"

    And so God created lawyers.

    Dumb Alabama Laws

  • It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

  • Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. 

  • You may not drive barefooted.

  • It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.

  • It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.

  • Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

  • Masks may not be worn in public.

  • Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death.

  • Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

  • Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

  • It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.

  • Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.

  • Incestous marriages are legal.

  • It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

  • You must have windshield wipers on your car.

    • You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. 




    1. I know what you mean....I was 2 days late with AF....kinda got my hopes up, but not really...because I Oed late and we really didnt do anything this month, cause our schedule was out of whack. But ive seen friends get pregnant, and pregnant again, while im still trying for number one....its hard...but i think after 2 years you get used to it, lol. I hope you can make this family happy soon! I know how much of a struggle and job it can be at times. We are just laying low these months, because we have been so busy...

    2. I know, it`s not easy. But stay positive and try to focus on other things to help pass the time... It`ll help :) I`m sure it will happen soon. Keep the faith :)