6.5 weeks!

Well folks!  We're over half way done the first trimester!  WOOHOO!!

That picture was for 6 weeks!!  Looking more pregnant, less bloated more and more!

So I now have a computer thank goodness.

I've missed my IPs soooo much the last few weeks, and I was absolutely CRUSHED to not be able to take live tests with them over skype like I had planned for.  

Well... I've been intensely nauseous for the last 3 weeks now.  I'm on the verge of throwing up, constantly.  I feel like all I have to do is throw up and I'll feel better.. but I don't, it just never goes away!  I'm getting my dictlecton tomorrow and now I just have to see if it will help.  I have hot flashes all day and all night.  I'm exhausted constantly... yay for pregnancy though!  it's going to be sooo worth it when I push these little ones out and watch their parents with them for the first time.

I am now delivery in England.  So i will have to fly out at 28 weeks with my two children.  I'm reallllly not looking forward to the actual travel [mostly for health purposes of the stress and physical strain of bringing all that over myself] and being away from Josh for around three months.  It will also be the first time I travel outside the country... and it's more than a little scary... let alone to probably have to go alone with two children under 3.  To say I'm nervous is an understatement.  But it makes their lives a lot easier...so on a journey to England I shall go...in exactly 5 months from today!

I'm just hoping that everything else starts to fall into place because just thinking about the travel is stressful.  We are going to try to save up enough to bring hubby over with me at least.  We will need both big carseats, luggage, the two children, me with a big tummy and a diaper bag.  

I'm also looking for health coverage for when I go over ... if anyone has any ideas, plleeeaase let me know!

There is so much to do still!  The part I thought was the biggest part [getting pregnant] soo wasn't.

Alright, so I think I updated for the most part lol

I will be blogging more regularly now that I have a computer!  Just got it tonight!

Will have more pictures on Sunday when we hit 7 weeks!

Less than a month to wait for our first OBS!

Hope EVERYONE had a GREAT Christmas!!!

Cathleen

and I update FINALLY

Just a verrry quick update for now, but I have another belly picture!

Im enormously bloated right now, so hopefully that will go down in a few weeks.

Blood test results were POSITIVE.

So now just waiting to have access to a scanner so that my IPs can FINALLY have it grr  I came to the library so that I could scan it for them and get the money, just to find out their scanner isnt working and paypal needs to process my banking information for 2-3 days FIRST and then the transfer takes 3-5 business days, so up to 8 more business days lol



This was taken on Sunday, exactly 5 weeks... now the wait is on to see if both sacs survived and if there are more than one baby per sac, how exciting!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I should have a computer right after Christmas, and i promise to keep up better once we doo.

We have to buy a new harddrive for my computer (ugh) and hubbys is finished, so we're buying one second hand for now... and then i have to wait to be able to afford to get the harddrive!

Cathleen

4th Week Comes To A Close

We are already 4 weeks and 5 days!

Which means that we are nearly 1/8th of the way there lol

More symptoms of course. lol

Back pain.

More food cravings.

Laziness.

Calf cramps.

Headaches.

These just ADD to the other ones, as I am still having every single one of them.  I feel like Ive eaten too much, all the time, and yet, Im also HUNGRY all the time.  This of course, leaves me with a dilemna ... do I eat... or dont I??  So, yes of course I eat lol

This of course, is not a problem, as pregnancy is a license to EAT and EAT and EAT.  The only problem is that my cravings are a bit expensive, and especially this time of year, we dont have the money to order in or go out for supper often. 

I had some upsetting news this week though.  My hospital doesnt check beta count, which means that I cant give my Intended Parents exact numbers on where my hormones are at.  They said that they didnt expect them anyway, but I realllly wanted them to have that, and everything else.  Maybe my expectations of my abilities are just too high for the time being.  They are going to schedule a blood test for Tuesday, Im hoping that my doctor sends me right over to the hospital from his office, which would be GREAT, and save me a lot of gas money.  Again, this time of year, we cant afford much, and we dont have a car, so its 20$ to my doctors office and back and then its about 24$ to the hospital and back home.  So, it could easily be a 44$ dollar blood test, thank goodness Im in Canada and dont pay for the actual appointment and test!

I have Gabriel with me here at the library, as I still dont have a computer at the moment, and hes climbing all over me, which is making typing difficult haha  If Ive spelt anything insanely wrong, just ignore it hahahaha

My bump is getting bigger, which means Im still retaining more water, but its just my belly and nowhere else for the time being.  I dont even have a camera right now to show you guys, and im soooo sorry, I cant wait to have all my technology back, as I miss all of you reading and responding.


I will say bye for now, but I will hopefully get my computer back this weekend, and if not Ill try to be back on Tuesday! 

Take care everyone!!

Cathleen

MORE PICS!

Okay... sooo much has happened.

9dpo we got this



soo... definitely pregnant! haha

I have a few more to show you though!!




We had our OFFICIAL pregnancy test yesterday at public health!  here it is!


DEFO PREGGO!

I also had an ultrasound booked for like... forever for my gallbladder, kidneys, pancreas etc and I asked her to take a quick look to see how many there were... she said she could see TWO sacs!! We are going to have TWINS!!!!

Im sooo flipping excited and i cant believe this is all happening!  well, i can... and i kind of had the feeling that there would be more than one.  all she could see was block blobs for now, nothing in them really yet, so in another month, we will get to see if maybe there is a third! 

i couldnt get a pic, but next time i can!! 

okay, so these are the appointments book SO FAR

First Official Medical Pregnancy Test Taken : December 13th

First Blood Test : December 21st

First OBS Appointment : January 26th (after my and daddys birthday on the 23rd grr)

So now its just a waiting game for that lovely piece of paper in the mail saying when to go in for the next scan !!!  Im sooo happy that i can do this and im so lucky to have ips like the ones i do.  thank you to everyone who has been supporting us, LETS MAKE BABIES!!!!



This was DECEMBER 10th.  Not 4 weeks yet! 

Ive been reallly sick for the last few nights, so hopefully that doesnt last too long, but i have a feeling it will.

along with early constipation, nausea, weakness, my sugar gets low FAST and horrid nightmares for more than a week so far.

the nightmares are so bad im afraid to go back to sleep sometimes, and hubs is now working nights, so im alone in the big apartment.  its reallly scary.  i wont tell you what im dreaming about as it is realllly scary to be honest.

alright... i didnt have a whole lot of time on here, but i wanted to update

will be a daily thing when i get my computer back i promise!!!

Cathleen

Drum Roll Please!

BAM! We got our first positive last night at about 7dpo.  Of course, no one knows the exact time of ovulation, so its hard to narrow down.  What I DO know is that it was between 1pm on the 1st and 1am on the 2nd, so theres a big difference there, and it could very well be why we had our hopes up so early already for our beloved +.

Alright, of course, I took pics for you!

I think I was just as excited and happy and teary eyed as my IPs were.  I cant believe that I am on this journey with them and we are allll soooo excited about this and hope that maybe we will have twins come from this!

My computer crashed on me two days ago, which is why I didnt blog IMMEDIATELY.  However, I am currently at the library trying to use up my one precious hour wisely.  I wanted to share this with you, as I know some of you are very loyal to my updates, and this is sooo amazingly excited for us all. 

For an update on me, I have been quite simply EXHAUSTED the last two days.  I woke up this morning, I opened my eyes after nearly 12 hours of sleep.  I looked around, and I looked at hubbys phone, not believing what time it really was, and that the children let me sleep in until 830.  I felt very groggy, I felt very heavy, like I had somehow gained 5 lbs over night (which is a lot for me who measured in at 97 lbs just two weeks ago).  I felt like I was getting up at 4am to go pee, and I know anyone who has ever been pregnant knows that when you go to the washroom that early in the morning, your body knows its still night time and it knows to go back to sleep as soon as your body hits the bed again and you're warm enough.

I have felt like I'm constantly eating.  I know that sounds so silly, as I dont know anyone who's first symptoms were just excessive hunger.  I even get mild hunger pains if I dont eat every 3-4 hours.  Today, I woke up and I admit I ate very late, I only ate at about 1230pm, but I did have a big snack this morning.  I had a deli sandwich at subway, then a second one, and then 3 cookies, a bag of chips, a large chocolate milk and then I went home... where I then two hours ate another 6 inch sub, made a pb & j sandwich and .5 litres of water.  It has been just over two hours since then, and Im hungry again for another meal. 

I can't wait to get more belly pictures up on here to show you guys how bloated I am, I feel so full and heavy and a little stretched to be honest.  TMI warning, but I've had a lot of gas, which could be caused from all the eating lol

No nausea unless I dont sleep more than 6-7 hours a night, which is probably just the excitement etc.

I dont know what to add!! I'm just so happy!  I'm keeping up with my personal journal currently at home for my IPs... I hope they like that more than this hahaha I have more time to think at home than when I'm put on a one hour time limit to spit everything out LOL

I just feel soo blessed that they allowed me to attempt to help them on this horrible path of infertility, and I know that I could never ever ever understand the hurt and frustration they have been through in these many years of trying to finally expand their family.  I wish that I could just reach out and hug everyone touched with this horrible fate.  For those of us who know people who can not have children of their own, please say a prayer tonight... not necessarily that they will have a baby, but that they can find closure in any way they find suitable for them.

If I knew today that it would help people, I would give up my fertility to someone else.

If I knew that I would help more people doing that than doing surrogacy, I would without a thought give that away.

So many people on this Earth are blessed with being extremely fertile, and a lot of us dont use it to the fullest potential.  When so many are hurting so badly, I find that its a shame that they aren't, but I understand that not everyone can do what I do, and not everyone is willing to try what I am doing.  For those of us out there who are TRYING to make a difference, whether you are a surrogate, a counsellor or a really good friend, thank you.  It is people like you who allow infertility to have a voice, and I think it should speak out.  Unlike cancer, you can not beat infertility.  You can not hide infertility.  It is a life long hurt, and it is a life long term for some people of imprisonment, that their own bodies have failed them. 

Please reach out to those around you.  Hug them.  Help them understand and accept what they can not change, for everyone is perfect in THEIR OWN WAY.  We are all a perfect portrait.  We are all capable to change the world, one step at a time. 

Thank you for reading today.  I wont be able to blog for a couple more days, but please please please... if you are dealing with infertility, to NOT feel alone.

Cathleen

Pictures For You

CD4 [cycle day 4, on period]




Today [before drinking anything or eating]



About to start them weekly :P

4dpo today.  - test.  Just waiting around for tomorrow morning to retest.

Cathleen

Day 5

Yep

We're 4.5 dpo now.  I'm just waiting and hoping my IM goes online before I have to test.  I'm not good at waiting. haha

I've definitely agreed to waiting until my IF is home to test every day from here on out, as our chances of actually getting a + are getting higher and higher.  In two days, there's a real chance of getting a second line, and then 4 days after that, almost guaranteed if I did conceive.

I will say that not everyone gets their + 10-12dpo, and that some people don't get a + until 14dpo or even 16dpo.  Everyone's embryos travel at their own pace of course, so now we just have to wait and see right??

My biggest fear is ectopic.  I started to cramp a bit more today, and I know it could be implantation.  Probably not though, since it usually takes the embryo 5-8 days just to make it out of the fallopian tubes.  Implantation usually occurs on 6dpo.  That's the first chance we have of actually getting a +, however, I believe in testing anyway just in case hahahaha

Alright, so for anyone reading this who has become pregnant in the past, please comment me how many days dpo you were when you got a +!

Cathleen

Here's the test I took today!

Day 3 :(

Well, today is day 3 of testing.

It's also the day that everyone goes home.

The house will feel completely empty without everyone here tomorrow morning.  I will wake up with the children, and wait for my amazing friends to wake up.  First I'll wait for C to wake up to use the washroom at around 9am, which has been around the time he goes.  And then I'll wait for T to get up and come sit on the couch and wonder what the heck we're doing for the day.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it all yet.  I know for sure I'm going to cry... as I already am and they only leave in 10 hours.  I have 10 hours - 10 precious hours until they leave to go over the Atlantic Ocean to go back home.  I offered to keep them here forever, but of course, C has to go back to work on Tuesday, so that kind of crashed the idea.  It's definitely more than a little sad, and I truly wish they could stay in Bathurst for another 100 years.

I haven't tested YET, but I'm on my way over right now.  I will keep the blog open of course, but it's wayy too early to expect anything for another 4-6 days for sure.  I should start to take pictures of them, but my camera is soo blurry for the pictures [I'm asking for a camera from hubby for my birthday *HINT HINT JOSH!*  Peeeee time.  Be right back.

So, of course, it's still negative.  I'm going to start to get excited about a possible positive in about 3 days when there's actually a chance.  See, it usually take the egg about a week just to make it into the uterus, and then it has to bury into the uterine lining.  This is why most women don't get a + pregnancy test until around the day their period would show up.  So, no excitement really until 6dpo and then no panic for a - until 12dpo.  I won't stop testing until 15dpo.

Well, three days down.

Anyone have a super sensitive ultrasound machine to lend me so that I can track their embies?  If you do, just drop it off for the next week please.  THANK YOU!

Cathleen

LET THE TESTING BEGIN!

Okay, so... I know I'm crazy... so, and I'm expecting you all to say so haha

I'm testing already.  Actually, in all honesty, I started to test YESTERDAY.

My tests measure at 10mui/ml, so I'm hoping in a few days we'll see something.  At low testing measurement like that, maybe by 7dpo we'll see something!  Most people don't test until at least 10dpo, but my IM got me these amazing tests, [100 of them] so I want to show my gratitude by using them!

So, if I can hold my pee for 6 hours at any given time, I'm going to POAS.

Share your stories, what's the earliest you've ever gotten a +?

Cathleen

And... OUCHIES

I woke up with the baby at about 530am [he's teething again, so for the next week, it'll be hell on wheels], and I felt some ovary discomfort, just like pinching, in both sides.  So this morning I'm not feeling well, but that's okay. I'm thinking about going over to subway for breakfast, I definitely have to go do some groceries and get my christmas shopping done.  I also have to print a few pictures out at walmart, that is, I'm going to go online and send my pictures over from my computer lol

That's part of my IPs present too, so I need to take more pictures to send hahahahaha

Unfortunately, my camera card sucks out loud so I may have to steal their camera to take the pictures!  GRR! LOL

Does anyone have any ideas for how to tell my IPs if we get a + test?