Positive Ovulation Test... Again?

BAHAHAHAHA Don't know what the heck is going on, but yesterday they were - again, and today....

The first line is the control line and the second one is the TEST line... YAY!  I don't know what's going on... but I'll take it! We're both jumping around, the guys are out running errands, and I don't know why I even tested, but I did.  Soooo, I guess my IF will be sore by the time I'm done with him!!  bahahahahahaha.  

YAY

When Not To Assume

I had to post this today.  I know I try to express my feelings as much as I can to you so that you can understand what it is like to be a surrogate.

Well, I had been speaking to an amazing same sex couple only 5.5 hours away from me, which is the closest I've even encountered who were searching for a traditional surrogate.  I hadn't had contact with them for a few weeks, and seeing as how they were so perfect, I figured they had found someone and didn't know how to tell me.

I was wrong.

They had simply taken time out, away from it all.  I got a message asking me what was new from them, honestly quite surprised to hear from them.  As you can imagine, they were quite upset with me.  I asked them to read my blog, and as soon as they had, they had messaged me.  I felt absolutely horrible.  I was crying.  Like I had let a close friend down.  Broken a promise.  Tattled on a friend to whom had kept secrets for you in the past.

This world is filled with both glorious and horrendous surprises... this was not one of those glorious ones.  I was fully expecting them to tell me that they had been matched and writing up contracts.  I'm not only in shock, but in despair, for they are truly a great couple.  I'm sad that this has happened, truly, and I hope that this does not happen to anyone else.  It is quite heart breaking to know that you've completely shattered a couple's heart. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to call them or message them when/if I become available in all honesty, since I don't know if they even ever want to talk to me again.

If they decide to read this.. all I can say is that I'm so sorry... although, I know that will never help what I've done and I can only pray that it even makes a difference.  They are definitely a couple I would want to work with, and I have to tell everyone, if you're a surrogate, these guys would be absolutely wonderful.  I'm just sorry I won't be working with them.

Cathleen

OFFICIALLY

IN THE TWO WEEK WAIT!

Yes... that's right.  We're not just waiting to test.  okay, that's a lie... There will be no waiting because everyone who knows me knows that I don't wait... I wait 5 days... and only because 6dpo is the absolute earliest time you can get a +.  Other than that, I would be testing - now.

Okay.. so I will admit that the insems aren't my favorite part of surrogacy.  BUT... they get me to this point, where I get to blog and tell you that there are now 13.5 days until we should get a +.  Yep... in 13.5 short days, I could be on here telling you all that I'm knocked up and ready to bloat.  LOL

Hopefully in 2 weeks you'll start to get belly pictures and then I can start scanning stuff to show you!!

Anyone who's ever tried to get pregnant knows that this time of the wait SUCKS.  NO ONE likes the 2WW.  The reason being that it's soooooooooooooo long.


I am now laying here after having done the insems for the second time.  LOL  Yeah... all women know what I'm feeling right now [ew].  LOL  Yep... that's right.  So home insems aren't that glorious. lol  They aren't, but they can be much more intimate .. that sounds wrong, but I mean with your IPs.  You're not working with doctors and machines but rather with people and feelings.  Isn't that what surrogacy is all about?  I understand that some surros do IUI because it increases the chances of conception.  I like it this way to be honest, with all the real feeling and emotion.

Alright... SOOOOOO.  LOL   I will shortly be on with tests bahahahahah I have ovr 50 tests ready [thank goodness] and I'm ready to start to take them!!  I feel like I should be testing tomorrow!  LOL I'm going to start testing in five days, even though the chances are minimal.. I have tests that measure at 10mui/ml... so they will be the earliest to pick it up. woohoo!

HAVE A GREAT DAY.

Cathleen

The Excitement... The Nerves... The Messy House

My friends arrive in an HOUR!  I'm getting the kids ready to go right now!!  I woke up with a runny nose, and we certainly didn't get the house cleaned last night lol  We DID try, but we also failed.  Which is fine since we have all week.  Hubby worked 7 days straight so that he could get more time off next week, and while doing so, we were both too tired to clean at night.

Having not even turned the baby's room into the spare room, they will have to laugh at us while we attempt to take the baby's crib down tonight, as we have not done that in a YEAR.  lol  I'm hoping they don't think too little of us for being sooo disorganized.  I really do blame it on the children and current family disaster [everyone is fine, just a few dramatic family members].    I think we all have a Monster In Law... and I certainly DON'T feel alone in that, as most of my friends have reassured me that even though most aren't as bad as mine, there are some of my friends [both male AND female] who will admit to wanted to strangle their MIL's on a regular basis.

Because the house is so messy, I have this picture for you all, rest assured that this is NOT how messy MY house is, but rather, how bad it COULD be :P  Hopefully it will give some humor to my problem haha

I promise I can see floor in each of my rooms!!  LOL

I have told myself that I will eat out today with them so that I can avoid cooking in the kitchen, as it's the worst room, Lexi's room just need tidying and so does Gabey's, but the kitchen is sooo easy to have messed up!

Lexi and Gabey have probably  been mentioned before, but they are my children :)  Now Lexi [Alexandra] is 26 months and Gabey [Gabriel] is 7 months.  I'm sure I've mentioned them before, although, I have tried to keep this blog about surrogacy.  This week, the two merge so I figure it's okay haha.

I will have loads and loads of updates as the week goes on.  

I took an OPK last night, and it was darker again! I think I'll get a positive today :D  This mean insems tonight or tomorrow depending on my IPs.  I think the final test would be on the 8th either way, so I'm amazingly excited that my 2WW goes through another month, I find it's easier to think that December is close, and then that means the first 4 days are gone, and then there are only 8 days left lol I don't know.  Everyone hates the 2WW.

Please think of Candy today, she's been testing a few days for a + OPK and she's getting nervous haha  The latest day she could get a + is on the 30th I think.  I can't wait for her to get a + !!  Her and I will be amazingly close in gestation if we both get pregnant this month.  She's also using clomid, so we could both potentially b having twins as well.  I'm taking is because my cycle lengths are soo long [34 days] and it's healthier to have shorter cycle, which is what the clomid offers, which is a maximum of 32 days.  Those 2 days make a big difference!!  

Alrighty, I have a half hour before I have to be out the door now!! Soooo exciting, but I have to brush my teeth!! LOL  the kids aren't ven dressed, I woke up and realized that I hadn't blogged!  

If anyone has ideas on what I should talk about next blog, let me know!!  I usually have a small project that I'm researching about, but lately I was avoiding this since I had so much to do.  In return, I've been a bit boring hahahaha.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.  They are staying here but we are all computer addicts and tonight I will blog to give you all a play by play.

Cathleen

It's Really Happening!

So, I started O testiing a couple days ago as you all know! 

Today when I tested, it was darker than usual... that is... there was a second line today!!  So I'm going to take them 12 hours apart now until we get a +!!  I took it at about 9am, so I'm going to take the next one at 9pm [another 9 hours and 10 minutes].  

My friends arrive in 21 hours 9 minutes!  How exciting is that!?

I'm having mild cramps, and I'm about to take some pamprin to see if it helps or not... if not it's not a big deal, the cramps aren't bad, just twinges.  

Hopefully next week I'll be able to switch over to real prenatal vitamins, the ones I'm taking I have to take three times a day and are less concentrated, as I usually can't take prenatal vitamins... too much for my system at one time lol

I have a friend named Candy who is also testing, so I'm hoping she gets a + today!!  She is also using clomid, and the latest she will ovulate is Wednesday I think.  Can't wait!!

I also have a friend named Joanne who is doing a transfer on the 3rd, so only a few days left for her, only 6 days!!

My friend Kare is waiting for her IF to get back from work [on the 10th] so that they can get down to the legal side of things and get contracts going.

Everyone is so busy!!  It's great!! And I hope they allll get pregnant this cycle!!  Pray for them!

Cathleen

Less Than A Week!

Until our friends T and C arrive!!  We're all starting to bounce around and of course, I can never believe that they're actually coming.  It's like when you're in grade 5, and you dream of graduating, but it's surreal until you actually get there and they hand you that diploma.  Okay, even THEN you have a hard time to believe it.  Hopefully I won't be pinching myself and poking them to make sure they're not real the whole week.

I feel like I've known them forever, and them visiting has always been a "I wish" thing, never a "okay, we're planning on coming in x amount of months, let's make an itinerary for when we're there!".  Not that I wrote up an itinerary....  Okay... I actually am... but I mean... I may never see them again! I want to make sure they have fun!

Has anyone got any good ideas of activities we could do?

I'm barely nervous, and mostly excited.  I think I'm going to hug them and they're going to end up thinking I'm a freak... how do you greet someone who you've wanted to meet for 6 months?  They're like my best friends, and I've never met them.  They know all of my deep dark secrets, and I have never gazed into their eyes in person.  I've told them things and feelings that I wouldn't dare write in a journal of any kind, and I have never sat down at a meal with them.  It's just a little breath taking at first to realize that it's actually happening.

I want to work out a meal schedule too, interesting Canadian food only please!!  Hopefully they will also help cooking and add some English foods!!

CD 7 so far!!

Gotta love tracking cycles lol It's always on my mind.  Every morning I update myself on what CD I am and what it  means, check CM and cervical location... what a lot of work, which seems to be routine now :)

Alrighty, I'm done for now hahahahha

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!  4 days until T and C leave home to come!

Cathleen

Just For Fun!

I found out that I can look at my stats!!  Here are some of them, this was the most interesting for me, and I had no idea that so many people actually read my blogs!! It completely blew my mind and had me blushing.  Nor did I know that I was sooo international :P Just kidding, I know exactly who looked at it from the UK and Australia, I kind of bugged them into it. But it looks good for me! LOL

It's a big blurry because I've made it a bit small to try to fit it on here without disturbing everything else on my page like the cycle calendars did [sorry about that by the way].

Finally Something Super Exciting!!

soooo hehe

I GOT MY CLOMID TODAY!!  Which  is ironic, because I also got birth control today [not to be used together lol].

I thought that everyone would want to know!! :D  I'm soo happy I'm jumping around!!  We'll be taking them days 5-9 for a first cycle.  The earlier in the cycle you do it, the better the results are.  3-7 would have been my first option either way, but not sure how that works once we have IPs etc.  You ovulate 5-10 days after the last pill, so keeping that in mind, scheduling is harder, and my doc recommended we started with a 5-9 day and move up.

The way follicles and clomid work are as such.

On CD1, you have many follicles starting to grow, about 20 per cycle.  On day 2, they start to die off as a woman's body only matures one egg a month, choosing the best of many follicles.  Day 3 is when you have about 10 still growing, and is also the day your body starts to really get serious about finding that one egg.  For those who have been trying clomid awhile, some may start on day 3 to get 2-3 eggs for higher chances.

Day 5-9 you usually get 1 egg, sometimes 2 depending.  It is lowest risk for hyperactivity in the ovaries.

by day 6, there is one egg bigger than the rest and your body takes that one egg to grow.

Think I covered it all :D

Anyway, we're super happy today even though I have to cancel the kids' appointments lol

Have a great day everyone.

Cathleen

And a Very Special Guest Arrived

AF started at 3:30pm on November 14th!  Obviously, we weren't panicked as much as annoyed, since I was verry moody.

There isn't much to update on unfortunately.

I have a couple coming from the UK who we LOVE to bits.  They're not coming to work with us unfortunately, but maybe one day we can work together, and they are soo close to us [emotionally].  They've never been to Canada before, so I'm kind of nervous to misrepresent us. lol.  We live in a green area of the country, so hopefully we'll find enough to do to keep them happy for the week they're here!!

I have talked them into staying with us and we are inthe process of transforming the back room for them :)  The baby will be staying in our room with us, which is fine, as we just moved him to his crib not long ago anyway.  It's alll very exciting so we're cleaning the house from top to bottom and making sure everything is in tip top shape for them to arrive!!

They are not rich, and are in the same income bracket as us, so we don't have the worry of being judged for our humble beginnings :D  They are shy, so I'm hoping that the kids will bring out their smiles and they can relax while here, since the entire purpose of them coming is to get away and try to forget all of their bad luck so far.  Hopefully they don't mind me saying this, and if they do this part will be removed, but they have had nothing but bad luck with surrogates so far, and I truly hope that this can take their mind off of it.  If nothing else, hopefully we can do that for a few days.

I will be posting pictures of us all, as I can't wait to meet them in person, and this may be the ONLY time I'll ever get to actually be with them again.  I'll call them T and C for now, as I haven't asked if I can use their names thus far.

I'm not even sure if anyone is reading this anymore... as I haven't had comments in awhile... but nonetheless, this is my journal of happenings and it's important to write this all down!!

I hope everyone has an AMAZING week!!

Cathleen

CAN NOT WAIT!!!!!

For AF to start.  I'm on CD 31.  grr

Jokes anyone?

PMS Joke 1:

A couple was sitting around their apartment; she was clipping coupons while he was reading the bible. The old man said to his wife, "You know honey, everything you ever wanted to know about life is in here."

She returned, "Well, maybe not EVERYTHING, dear."

He replied back, "Sure, just name one thing I can't find in here."

She said, "PMS-you won't find anything about it in there."

He began flipping through the pages, going from one chapter to another, pausing for a few seconds only before going on to the next page. After about 10 minutes, he looked up at his wife and said, "Aha! Here it is, I told you everything was in here."

Then he proceeded to begin reading the script "... and Mary rode Joseph's ass..."

PMS Joke 2:

Why do women call it PMS?

Because mad cow disease was already taken.

PMS Joke 3:

The 10 Definitive Signs of PMS are:

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, 'How's my driving? Call 1 800 ****"**.'
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
8. You're counting down the days until menopause.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

PMS Joke 4:

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT.

And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

PMS Joke 5:

TOP 14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Pack My Stuff
4. Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
5. Perpetual Munching Spree
6. Puffy Mid-Section
7. People Make Me Sick
8. Provide Me with Sweets
9. Pardon My Sobbing
10. Pimples May Surface
11. Pass My Sweatpants
12. Pissy Mood Syndrome
13. Plainly Men Suck
14. Who Cares? I'm not in the mood to play this anymore!!

Turning Over A New Leaf... Or Recycling The One I Have

I need to stop being so serious!!! I've had 0 comments for 2 blogs!! What the heck?!  lol

Hubs and I are finally sorting through the couples kind of.  These poor couples have to wait  until after Christmas to have confirmation.  I hate this soo much.  It's driving me crazy.  Of course, I will help my best friend either way.  Hubby tends to like the idea of a same sex couple, as he doesn't have to worry about them hitting on me etc [lol].

And So Alas... The Going Gets... Going

A lot of people are asking me all the time if I am searching for a new couple, and I have couples asking me to be exclusive.  Of course, this is not usually a delicate situation, and is excruciatingly hard to not want to help each couple who contacts me.  I truly do want to help them all... but of course I can't just line them up and say, okay, you're first, second, third ... it's not fair.  I am left to have to pick one.

Since my last post, which I know wasn't long ago, we've had a verrry close friend of ours ask us to be their surrogate.  Which of course makes it sound like an easy choice....  It isn't.  You get soo attached to these couples, where you want to just match them all up and go baby crazy.  You feel as though you talk about every aspect of their life, no matter how personal, and you speak of yours, putting your heart out for them, understanding where they come from.

I thought directly after the unmatching I was going to help our friend... period.  However, I didn't anticipate that other couples would have any interest.  If it were as easy as saying, I will help you such month of such year, it would make life soo much easier.  It leave me with a burning sadness in my chest to have to turn couples down, and I know that I am a surrogate, and have no idea what IPs truly go through, but I know the need and desire for a child, and I do believe that everyone deserves that need and desire fulfilled.



Alright, I didn't post pictures of the kids in their suits did I?  I also got flowers from my past IP's and they were just gorgeous, will have to post a picture of those too!

my dalmation

winnie the pooh

cruella

just me being silly

again..

these are the flowers!!

Alright, so not sure if anyone wants the usual jokes, so I'll give you some more silly laws!

Pennsylvania:
In certain sections of Pennsylvania many years ago, the Farmer's Anti-Automobile society set up some "rules of the road." In effect, they said:
1. "Automobiles travelling on country roads at night must send up a rocket every mile, then wait ten minutes for the road to clear."
2. "If a driver sees a team of horses, he is to pull to one side of the road and cover his machine with a blanket or dust cover that has been painted to blend into the scenery."
3. "In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner must take his car apart and conceal the parts in the bushes."
Utah:
It is against the law to fish from horseback.
Ohio:
In Bexley, Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.
Indiana:
Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial costs.
Kansas:
No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
California:
In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding roosters to crow within the city limits.
Kentucky:
A Kentucky statute says:
"No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses."
Oklahoma:
Harthahorne City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
These excerpts are from the book "Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton (Walker; $8.95) Enjoy!


Tata for now!!

Cathleen

And The World Turns

Hey everyone... I was avoiding an update, but of course, that is not possible.

I have recently told my IPs I can no longer work with them.  I can not discuss why until we have decided what tg tell people... for now only leaving you with more questions than answers, and I apologize for that.

On another note, On Halloween night, I had a second gallbladder attack.  I was at the ER for a few hours and just now got my papers to tell me when my ultrasound is [December 14th].  We will only know after that what is going on, but I will keep everyone posted for surrogacy updates.

I was contacted by two same sex couples, one from BC and one from Nova Scotia.  Nothing is being done thus far, and do not want to be pressured into anything as I am still heart broken from the break down of my last contract.  Feel free to ask questions and I will write a blog to answer the ones I can :)

Cathleen