Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Cause And Effect Rule

For every action, there tends to be a consequence of equal or greater impact.


Do NOT be too shy to say it as it is in my comment box, as I have never declined a comment on my blog, whether it was good or bad.  I know that I put myself in this siutaion and I know that it is my own fault that I am sitting here completely shattered.  I have a very close friend who made sure that I knew that I am not fault free in this situation, and I love her for it, she is right.  I wanted to WARN others to NOT put themselves in this situation, make sure your expenses are covered in this line of work.

I try to speak more about myself in this blogs than others.

I had to make an exception today though, although, I won't make it obvious who I'm speaking of, and I have never spoken about this person, so that helps in keeping it anonymous.

The group that banned for and accused me of threatening to abort the babies kept a few of the people that I had added, and also, people that I knew.

One of them posted that she had told me that this would all happen [and, who could have seen this all happening, I'm sure my IP's and I didn't even have any way of knowing how things would roll out] and had warned me but I didn't listen.  I thought that was a bit immature, after the beating they had given me.  I have a few friends still in that group, so word was going to get back to me -obviously-.

Surrogacy is SUPPOSED to be a very beautiful thing, in some cases, it can be very stressful and it can be very tiring.  I don't want this to stop anyone from going into surrogacy, as I'm sure my next journey [if I can even carry again] will be just as beautiful as I had hoped, and that my IP's will be overly understanding of what has happened in this journey, as there are also unexpected things that happen in surrogacy, most good, but there has to be some give in the situation of giving life, and two families merging.

This CAN be a wonderful thing for both parties, as most surrogates get many places with the money they make.  I can change lives on both sides of the field if it is given the opportunity.  It is not always easy.  But it should have benefits for both sides.

I hope my blogs to follow are full of happiness, encouragement and good news.  I will be removing my previous blog as I don't feel as though it gives this situation any justice at all.  It has gone beyond what I had ever thought it would.

I never wanted to live with regret, and I hope that regret somehow leads to something better.  only 20w4d until I reach full term with the twins. Here is to hoping they are better and full of rainbows and love and sunshine!


  1. Hi Cathleen,

    I always love how open and honest all of your blogs are, it's so refreshing. I was just surprised when you mentioned that your IP released confidential medical information about you. I thought that you were very open about taking Clomid, I even thought you had blogged about it. I remember us chatting about it several times in an open chat on a surrogacy website.

    I'm glad you mentioned in this blog that you wanted honest feedback and that you don't reject comments because I do feel like you were dishonest when you mentioned that you didn't want a multiple pregnancy. I remember you clearly saying, more than several times, that you wanted a twin pregnancy and you were glad that the Clomid gave a higher chance of having a multiple pregnancy.

    I hope you don't feel like I am being harsh because I really do love your blog and I read it every day and I think you give a really honest and real perspective on Surrogacy.

  2. Hi Cat,

    You know we`re friends and I want us to remain friends.. But i have to say I agree with Courtney.

    It is normal to sometimes have disagreements in surrogacy arrangements. BUT I also agree that you, yourself have been blogging and facebooking very personal stuff about and your personal family life. There`s nothing wrong with that at all..I`m just stating facts.

    I read your IM`s blog before she deleted the section you were angry about. It said that you and your boyfriend were going through a ''trial separation''... To me, it seemed obvious that she was concerned and cared for you. I`m sure she wouldn`t have blogged about that if you hadn`t made all that very public beforehand.

    Don`t let your emotions get the best of you. Don`t forget there are two innocent babies involved in this and I know your IPs have gone through a horrible situation before you were wonderful enough to offer to be their surrogate.

    Your hormones and health right now are also probably out of wack..lol.. Not to mention the strain on your relationship. So that must NOT be helping your emotions..

    Whatever you guys agreed before becoming pregnant needs to be followed. You may have certain regrets right now, but it`s too late to get angry about them in my opinion. I myself regretted a few things I agreed on in the contract. But I don`t complain about them since I signed the contract. If I become a surrogate again, I can do differently if I chose.

    Regarding expenses, if your expenses go over what you initially agreed upon, just talk with your IPs. Some things NEED to remain confidential though. And this applies to both sides.

    I`m ONLY saying all this because you asked for our honest opinion. So don`t take this the wrong way.

    We care about you.. We all want you to take care of yourself and get rid of all that stress and unhappiness.

    Take care of yourself and those babies and try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

    I`m sure your IPs will be eternally grateful for the gifts you will be giving them soon... You`re doing a beautiful thing.


  3. You told me that you never used the clomid??? Im confused!