Excitement had started to burst through me, and as each month passed, I scratched a big number off of the calendar to continue the countdown to when their little babies would make a nice warm cozy home in my uterus for 9 months.
Unfortunatley, fate had other concerns.
I say unfortunately, but it was also a wonderful opportunity all in one.
My IM was offered a fully paid university course to improve her skills in her field. This woudl take a full year, and it would mean putting the surrogacy off another 14 months, which was 20 months after I'd be ready. We all decided that in the best interest of everyone, that I would go on to do another surrogacy before working with them. Which meant many things, she can study and concentrate on her work and studies, and I would need to start from square one again to find new Intended Parents.
There is so much emotion as I type this update and it's already been awhile since it's happened. Needless to say, I am VERY happy that she is being given the opportunity to further her career! I am also very sad that we both have to move on for the time being. I felt so comfortable with them, and felt that they were a perfect match for me! They were also very close, which is something that I may not find again.
They also wanted to wait awhile before getting to transfer, which was VERY important to me, as I obviously have trust issues at this point in the game. Very few IP's are willing to wait more than a couple months to transfer with their surrogate, but for me, it feels as though I NEED that time to get to know someone in order to trust again. Having our son in August was a great healing experience, but it wasn't everything I needed, and I do need to know that my IP's will be there for me 100% of the way, which is what I felt with my IP's.
Having to start over again is a bit heart breaking, but I have to remember that God has a plan here, and there is a reason for it. Maybe it is because I am supposed to help someone first. Maybe it is because this time in THEIR life is important and should come second to surrogacy. There are so many possibilities.
I just hope that it truly is for the best and that God's plan will soon reveal itself!