Surrogacy...Round 3! Weeeeee're Baaaaaaaack!

You did not misread the title of this blog. 

Yes, I am looking to start my THIRD journey as a surrogate!

So far, I have started birth control pills (I would like to say that I had my IUD removed, which would be true...but I had it removed from my rectum...I'll write more about that on another blog...long story short, I needed another form of birth control lol). 

I have looked at probably six profiles so far, either I just didn't feel any kind of connection, or, in most cases, I live too far away for them to be able to attend appointments so politely said that I wasn't a good match for them. I hope that they all find surrogates local to them so that they can have every experience possible. 

So, now we are giving our profile to a couple who lives in Australia, who have one child already and who want a sibling! 

Nothing else so far to update really. 

Comment with any questions though, as always I'm an open book!

Updates and new cycle and new ..everything

So as you can tell from the title of this blog, things haven't been great.

August 28th we had a negative beta. Negative negative negative.

As in...beta of 2. Progesterone was great though, it was 190.

We stopped meds and a period came August 31st.

Started estrogen again on September 1st.

Ultrasound September 17th, it went well. Really well. Lining at 10.

September 19th I had some spotting, then it picked up and then it turned into real bleeding. We had an ultrasound done on September 20th, the radiologist here said everything still looked fine, lining at 9.5mm.

The clinic still cancelled the transfer. I stopped meds.

Period started September 25th.

Started estrogen again September 26th.

Started PIO October 12th.

Transfer is booked October 16th at 1030am.

I think that's it for now. :) I got a heating pad for this cycle too, enough was enough! I was SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sore, not able to sleep through the pain even! I would roll over at night and it would feel like a giant pulled muscle. Just a fricken nightmare!!

I'm still trying to figure everything out for shots for when I go to Toronto, there's five hours in the morning where I am flying. The wait between flights is just enough time to get me from one port to the next. I may ask the clinic to take suppositories that day. Other than that, that's the only time I can't take my shots on time. I don't care if I have to do five suppositories, they're easier to explain while flying than a needle!

Speaking of shots, it's that time again, so I'll see you all later!

BETA TODAY!

So that may have been misleading.

I don't have my beta results BACK yet, but it's later on today.

I was getting very very very faint positives on my FRER tests, and then negatives.

And Negative again.

Well, I guess it's negative and I had my first chemical.

Or my stupid FRER tests are annoying and they were giving me evap lines early.

I cried for three days.

I took my last test before beta yesterday, as a farewell to the cycle. 

However.

This is the test.

Sooo. That being said.

I'm no longer dreading my beta test today!

I will update when I update :)

Gloomy While Testing

I hate the 2 weeks wait.

Hate is a strong word.

I strongly dislike the 2 week wait.

...Nope...I hate it.

I tested every day since 3 days past the 3 day transfer. Every day. All day.

Negative.

Negative.

7 days past a 3 day transfer, first morning urine, negative.

I gave up. I couldn't do another negative.

I felt the urge to test at supper time 7dp3dt, and there was a very very faint second line. This morning, darker line.

I get digis tomorrow, but it looks like I'M PREGNANT!!

My IF's are going to be daddies!!

Transfer!

Okay, so it's been just over four days now since we had our transfer.

I know I'm late with this update!

I got up at 430am on August 13th soo sleepy. I got to the airport for 530 and got in line to get xrayed and everything else. It was SO embarrassing to explain why I had baby bum cream (thanks a lot suppositories! You SUCK!). I got onto the plane, I was half asleep. I know this because it's all pretty foggy still haha.

I got to Montreal, switched planes, still half asleep.

I got to Toronto.

My IF's were waiting at door C. I went to door C. They were NOT there. I texted them. They said they were at door C, and one of them was actually waiting just outside the door. We played this game for twenty minutes, and then finally, I asked for help.

Well.

Found the problem.

We were BOTH at door C.

They were at DEPARTURE...I was at ARRIVAL. Leave it to me!

We went right to the clinic. I was so nervous.

We got there, and we were called in almost right away.

I was told to put on two paper gowns, one on the front, and one on the back. Okiedokie.

I got locker number 7. Lucky 7. Surely this is a sign?

Then I was told to go and sit down for acupuncture. First thought : this is going to be relaxing. She started to put little tiny needles into my body, and it wasn't too bad.

I didn't feel this way all the way through, in fact, I could NOT wait for it to be over. It hurt. So much.

It was over, and done with and I was finally going to transfer. Thank goodness.

I laid down. It was a normal chair, reminded me of a dentists' chair, I was told to put my bum almost on the edge, so I did so. There I waited, with my two VERY nervous IF's for 10 hours.

Okay, it wasn't 10 hours.

It just felt like it.

It was probably 15 minutes.

Then the Dr came in, with the embryologist and a nurse. The nurse awkwardly put my legs up in the holders and told me to scoot down some more. Surely I couldn't scoot down any more. I could and did.  They gave us a picture of our embryos, they are such beautiful...balls.

They are a 9 cell and 8 cell 3 day embryos. Very very good quality. 

I also got a picture from while they were putting the embryos in, you can't see the embryos per say since they are soo small, but the embryos are in between the air bubbles :)

So the claw looking thing is what was used to put the embryos in, and between my finger and thumb is where the embryos are! 

After the transfer, I barely wanted to walk in fear that I would be moving too much. 

I didn't realize that I would have acupuncture afterward again. I dreaded it and it felt like she hit every single vein she could. By the end of it I just wanted to tell her not to touch me. I have bruises all up and down both legs and arms as if I was beaten from those tiny needles. NEVER AGAIN. I am all for trying whatever I can to make this transfer work, but I have officially decided that acupuncture is NOT for me. 

I've  also started to test of course, and this morning I seen what I thought was a shadow of a positive, but I'm still waiting until they're clearly positive to get excited. 

                                                                 4DP3DT *4 Days Past 3 Day Transfer*

Now it's just to keep testing, or to wait, whichever I can talk myself into doing haha. I may not test tomorrow and wait to test until Monday just so that I don't have to deal with another negative though, they're hard to take, and really, now would be quite early to be getting a test. I only have four good tests left so I also don't want to waste them!

I still have about 170 cheapy tests that I got for 18 cents each, so I'm doing those pretty well every time I go pee now, I may just keep up with those until I ssee a positive or until I hit 7DPT (in another 3.75 days). It's so hard to decide. I may just end up going to get more tests haha.

The Blue/Pink/Blue/Orange Pills

Okay.

My goodness.

I have enough meds in my body to sustain a pharmacy.

My current daily med routine :

Wake up at 6am to my alarm clock. Med time.
-PregVit *pink, morning pill
-1ml Progesterone in Sesame Seed Oil *my bum is a great pin cushion...not
-2mg Estrace
-Aspirin 81mg chewable *but I prefer not to chew it...it tastes like McDonald's juice...ick
-Antibiotic
-Vaginal Suppository 200mg Progesterone

Go back to bed for an hour because my PregVit has me SO nauseous that I usually have a bucket beside the bed, even just the little bit of water that I have with the pills feels like it's going to come back up.

12pm (noon)
-Vaginal Suppository 200mg Progesterone

9pm/Bedtime (sometimes a bit later)
-PregVit *blue, evening pill
-2mg Estrace
-Antibiotic
-Vaginal Suppository 200mg Progesterone

Sleep.  Sweet sweet sleep.

Most of my day is used to remember my meds for noon and then no more night snacks at all because my blue PregVit has to be taken at least 2 hours after anything is eaten. So pretty much, I can't eat after 7pm, which is NOT my norm, I usually snack until 9pm and wait a half hour and then go to bed.

My first shot didn't hurt too much. It only started to ache that night. I thought okay, this isn't too bad. Same thing with my second shot (opposite side). After the second shot that I had though,I started to have a raised rash on my lower back, just a few dots. It isn't too bad. The third shot killed me a bit, it was really sore all day today.

I did the third shot while standing up AND I forgot to warm it up a bit too. It could have been either, I also didn't put a hot compress on it like I normally do afterward. Most of the pants I wear hurt, so I'm in my maternity clothes to avoid having anything up against my upper bum area.

The raised rash is normal, and there's not much I can do for it, if it gets really bad (full body) then we could try something, but really there's not much point. So unless it gets really bad, I'm going to suck it up. It is all worth it, I knew going into this that I would be a pin cushion for at least 10 weeks. I have 3 days down, about 61 to go still. Give or take of course.

I have found that the viles of progesterone probably won't last that long, I wonder how long each one will last me, but I am still on the first one, and it's been 3 days and it was pretty easy, so we'll see tomorrow how much is left. It says there is 11ml in each vile, but I also lose a bit every time from making sure I get all the air bubbles out. Hopefully each vile will do me about 10 days, that would be great.

The vaginal suppositories are a bit of a nightmare. They're not as messy as I thought they would be, but I think it's bringing on a yeast infection, but I've also been told that it's normal to think it's a yeast infection when in fact it's just a normal reaction and there's nothing I can do for the itching/burning. That sucks. So much. lol

My youngest child turned 1 year old today, I wanted to wait a year to transfer, I have officially done that. I have finally taken a full year to heal and recover and now I am ready to move on to another pregnancy and baby, maybe babIES! I have my transfer shirt ready to go, and I'll pack a bit tonight, I'm not sure what I'll do in the hotel for two days, but I'm sure I'll take time to sleep a lot haha.

6 Days To Estrace

Yes.

I know.

I haven't updated in a long time. I promise that there is a valid reason though!

Okay. There's not.

Surrogacy is a LOT of hurry up and wait. So, I hurried up, I took my Lupron shot July 7th, and now is the "wait" part.

Wait for what you may ask? Wait for a period? Nope. My period no longer matters. I wait until I am supposed to start estrace, and then the show really begins.

I started my period though, July 19th. Like I stated earlier though, it has no bearing now on anything, it's there, it's great, and that's it. I still hate my period and didn't care if it started or not, some women get their periods within a couple days of Lupron, some don't. We're all different and the lupron shot has definitely given me some pretty darn great symptoms.

Bloating.

Headaches (not often though).

Exhaustion.

Insomnia (great combination with the symptom above...ironic huh?).

Moodiness.

Hot flashes.

Those are the ones I notice every single day. The headaches are off and on a lot, some days it'll only last for 10-30 minutes, some days I'm dealing with the headache for hours. Sleep usually helps, but not always.

I had a one time shot, and it will be in my system for 4 full weeks. Menopause SUCKS. I can now sympathize with women who are going through it, even though I am only 22. It isn't nice. Hug your mothers and grandmothers and aunts...they deserve it, bring them some cake too...they'll want some.


Next is Estrace, which I start in 6 days from now. I will be taking them in 2mg dosages, at first, it'll be 2 pills in the morning and 2 pills at night. I take them like this until I go for my ultrasound August 7th (bright and early...730am...eek!).

Protocol changes August 9th if everything is going well with my lining and it's thick enough (which, let's hope it is and so that we don't have to start over or put anything off!). I will then drop to one estrace pill per day in the morning and one at night, and then start my progesterone vaginal suppositories (one in the morning, one at noon and one in the evening) and my progesterone in sesame seed oil once in the mornings.

I will have 7 days of antibiotics for around transfer to ensure that I don't get an infection.

(Minus the antibiotics) - This will be my daily routine for every single day until I am released from the clinic's care and when I start to see my normal OB. Sounds like fun right?!

That is the hurry up and wait :)