Thursday, March 21, 2013

Verdict : Not Crazy

So, like I had stated in my last post, I had my skype appointment today with a social worker. I didn't know exactly what the interview would be about, so I went into it a little blind. I knew that it would take about an hour, and that the last half, Josh would be included, so he needed to be home.

To ensure that everything was okay at home, we made sure that Lexi was at preschool for the full day today, so that neither of us would have to drop everything to go get her half way through in case it ran late. Lexi wasn't here..check.

We had put Evan down for a screaming teething baby...check.

We gave Gabriel what seemed like a hundred little dinky cars, and lots of toys to keep him occupied. Gabriel occupied...check.

Then the wait for the call to go through. My gosh. My clock said it was only 2 was OBVIOUSLY more like an eternity. Silly clock!

She introduced herself, her name, her profession, her experience in the field of third party reproduction, how she herself had had two separate surrogates for herself, who brought her two daughters into the world.

We pretty much went through my life. Where I grew up, how old I was, how long Josh and I have been together.

Then we got into deeper things, how is our relationship? Was it easy for us to get pregnant? Was Josh there for me while I was pregnant? How were my pregnancies and labors? Were there complications? What is life like for us? Where do we work? Does our family support our decision to do surrogacy? Do we have family who do not support our decision? How do we approach telling people that we do surrogacy? How do we cope under pressure and stress? What are some hobbies we like? What are our children like?

So many questions. It felt like I was giving my life story, and I had to make sure she knew all of the good parts...a movie that has gone on for 22 years, and I had to give a complete review of every aspect. Every detail. Try not to leave things out that may be important. Try to emphasize how much we want to help other in the process of surrogacy.

Where did we learn about surrogacy?

How did the first surrogacy go? Since it was not a good experience, why are we doing it again? What brought me to surrogacy to begin with?

Every answer was seemingly impossible, trying to word things properly, I didn't want her to come off too serious, but joking could lead to miscommunication, and I didn't want her to think that we didn't take this all seriously, because we do. Afterall, we're not mowing someone's lawn, we're carrying their BABY.

My entire capability of being a surrogate could potentially ride on this one conversation. How do you ensure that you're coming across properly? You can' have to hope that your personality comes through and that everything you are saying is something that is valuable. There is so much to take into consideration! The amount of pressure that I felt just in this one insane! Each question, I looked up at Josh and looked for a smile to see if I answered correctly, and of course, there was probably no real "right" answer. And if there was a right answer, surely he wouldn't know it anyway.

One more check in a box. One step closer to transfer, and one step closer to helping The Dudes become parents.

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