Now that my screening is booked (70 days left...but who's counting?) at the clinic, so is my social worker for my mental eval...aka...they're going to make sure that I know what surrogacy implies (...let me guess...I get pregnant and then give birth...right?) and that I am mentally prepared for this journey (just in case I thought I was going to be bringing the baby/babies home...).
So, Since there isn't a whole lot to update about for a few weeks...I'd thought I'd let you in on a secret of mine...we started contracts this week :) Since I am with an agency, thsi pretty much consisted of the agency asking me what reimbursement I thought I'd have and how much they thought would cover extra expenses like if there are twins,if I need bedrest, if I need a CSection. In the surrogacy community, we hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, which means there is also a Loss of Reproductive Organs amount.
Some of those things can be daunting, I know, but we have to make sure that everything is covered just in case something happens, every surrogacy comes with risks involved.
So far, that's all we have discussed for the contract but I know that there will be many other things.
I had agreed to the guys (upon asking them how much information I could share, they let me know that they are not comfortable with me including ANY of their info...comment if you have suggestions on nicknames!) that I would welcome them to any appointments.ultrasounds and of course to the birth. That will all go into the contract. There are a lot of things to discuss, but as things are decided, I'll let you all know how we decided certain things.
The amount of money that we are averaging for has to do with how much extra food I will be in taking while pregnant, and since food is more expensive here because of where we live, I had to take that into consideration. We don't have a car right now, so I will be taking cabs to every appointment, and since wait times are long at the OBS Clinic (I've waited four hours once), I need to take into consideration that I will probably be there through a meal time. And of course, I have to think about babysitters. Unfortunately, with baby number 5, I gained a lot of weight for some reason, and I will need new maternity clothes. If I'm on bedrest, I will need someone to come in, and I have three children 4 and under, so someone will have to tidy and cook. These things are not cheap.
Of course, this is a negotiable aspect, give and take on both sides. It's important that everyone is happy with the caps on these things. In Canada we are not "paid" to be a surrogate, this should never be an income for anyone, and this is not a job. If you are relying on surrogacy to pay bills, then you shouldn't be doing it. My husband makes a decent living, and he works hard to support us financially, I am reimbursed for my expenses, and I have to hand over all receipts to prove my expenses. It's important for everyone to know that this isn't a way to make money in Canada, it is a way to help others.
I won't disclose what my caps are as I believe that's a private matter, but surrogates have to make sure they won't be paying out of pocket for expenses, and IP's have to make sure they are not being cheated out of their hard earned money either.
I'm excited to know what the next category is in the contract! I know contracts can take a few months to perfect, so for now, slow and steady is good!
Right now the guys and I are exchanging weekly emails about. We don't have a ton in common, but we are both looking into surrogacy for the same reason, so I hope that we become closer over time. They are also busy people, and I'm sure they don't even notice the time flying by!
As always, feel free to comment if you have questions or things to add!
Have a great week!