My Secret Ingredient

I'm not writing this for comments or for anything else, but have decided that this is part of MY journey, not just my surrogacy journey, but my LIFE journey.  People will judge me either way, that's what people do, it's human nature, and let's face it... for most people, it's an ego boost. I know it is for me.
I think I've handled the last few days pretty well all things considered.  The things considered would be that i'm already an emotional wreck of course lol.

I've been told that I put my life out to the public... but don't we all? Isn't that what we all do when we share anything? We all share out feelings, journeys, experiences, advice and even our love with others. I certainly shouldn't be judged for doing that... to have a different view on things, to want to share with others. If it weren't for people who shared, no one else would have people to judge.  Am I mislead?

I am a second timer teen mom and a traditional surrogate who not only lost her IP's in the third trimester, but also lost her relationship, and I have no job. How much more controversial could I be? How many people can say that they were judged by over 120k people when I was mentioned in an online blog about surrogacy. 

I've had to learn to deal with the scrutiny involved with my life over the last few months. I've had to learn that life doesn't just hit you with one thing at a time so that you can "deal" with things one by one, but instead, it sometimes keeps hitting you to see what you're made of.  What you can handle. To what extreme you can deal with. 

This is a blog to show others what I'm made of.  What I can handle. What extreme situations I can deal with. 

I don't think I'm 1 in 6 billion. I know others have done what I have done. I know that I'm nothing news worthy if you will.  I know that many others have accomplished much greater things.

For now on, this isn't about opinions of others, it is about me sharing my life, with whomever is willing to share it with me, with whomever can HANDLE my opinions, my views and the way I choose to lead my life.  No holding back, but not being rude. No extreme dramatics, but some mild exaggeration.

This is my NEW blog, branching off of an old one.  This isn't just about surrogacy anymore, but instead about my journey of LIFE, surrogacy will just have a part in it, as surrogacy ISN'T my entire life. It is a part of it that includes others. 

As many parts of my life there is, I want to share each part... every part of me that I can share... every secret ingredient.

May Be The Last Update On The Twins

I got a disturbing phone call today from the hospital today.

They were looking to see if I had received the birth certificate with the registration numbers. I said no I hadn't. 

She then let me know that they are being released TODAY... and that the AP's have been there awhile.

I thought that we had agreed to keep everyone UPDATED.  Guess I was wrong. 

I signed over my rights a few days ago, and have over 3 weeks left until my rights are actually terminated.  I thought they'd at least keep me in the loop until then.  Maybe I would have gotten a phone call once they got HOME. Maybe not even then.

I called backed, since I was so incredibly shocked and hurt that I couldn't even remember to ask over the phone when I spoke to the social worker.

They now weight A = 5 lbs 11 ounces and B = 5 lbs 9 oz. They have both gained exactly 2 lbs, tomorrow they will be exactly 6 weeks old. 

I'm not sure if I'll actually have any other updates about them, this happens a lot in surrogacy, where the parents "grab and run" and then the surrogate ends up left out in the cold if you will.  Not entirely surprised though, I tried to set myself for this happening, but I guess you're never really prepared for something like this to happen.

Would have liked for it to NOT be a stranger who let me know though. 

I have my 6 week post partum appointment on the 10th, and will update afterward though.

I'm Done... And Ready To Start Over

I didn't end up finishing my last surrogacy through blogs because of circumstances surrounding my last surrogacy.
Twins were born at 32+3, healthy and are doing great.  They are being released to an adoptive family this week!!
I am nearly 6 weeks post partum now and can't wait to be pregnant again! That is... for someone else lol

I Was Told This Was Overdue?

So, I was recently advised that this is overdue lol  To be honest, I don't know when the last time I blogged was, either here OR on my youtube... but I know I'm way behind, and I'll tell you all why, and hopefully you can agree that it is a valid enough excuse.

April 15th - Dentist Appointment
April 15th - Home Visit From A Child Development Worker
April 16th - Play Date And Shopping Day
April 20th - Gabey's 1 Year Appointment
April 20th-23rd [just waiting for the appointment time and date] - Meeting With Social Worker
April 21st - Hair Appointment
April 23rd-25th - Easter Weekend With Lots Of Family Arrangements
April 27th - Gabey's 1 Year Birthday
April 28th - Mom's Birthday
April 28th - 1 Hour Glucose Test
April 28th - Thryoid Blood Test
April 29th - 24 Week OBS [Will Be 23W6D]
May 1st - Gabey's 1 Year Birthday Party

........JAM PACKED! 

We are FINALLY better though, and I've been working my tail feather off trying to get all my chores back to being all done as well.

I also order my doppler, and it had been sent to me last week, so now I'm just waiting for it to arrive now!  Exciting!

Alright, so this picture was taken yesterday, but it's still "new".  It was taken before I ate, so I wasn't bloated yet.  You can tell the difference from when I'm bloated though, the whole top part near my ribs blows up a lto more.  This way, you can see that I'm bubbling out haha



I find my webcam makes me look "skinny" a lot, and I took a picture with my phone and I definitely looked bigger, but you get the point lol 

Anyway, I'm sorry again, and I'll desperately try to keep up with this, but like I said, it's been pretttty hectic.  lol 

-Cathleen

New Surro Site To Look At !

Hey everyone!!

So, I've been having a hard time to come up with what to say lately haha

I'm feeling MUCH MUCH better now, and also have a new couch set!  I love it haha

I've also joined a new surrogroup, that I just love.  I've been on routinely [daily] and I find that the environment is so fresh and friendly.

It is a new site though, so it is very young and still in the process of getting members etc.  If you have any questions about surrogacy, and want to ask a few people at once, this is a great way to do it, and I haven't seen ONE negative response to someone else, and as far as I can see, it is DRAMA FREE, which is very very hard to find on a website. 

The best part... it is for IP's and Surros AND Egg Donors.  There are quite a few experienced sides to it, on all sides, and it's hard to find that at times. 

Here is the link : http://www.allthingssurrogacy.com/  I think that we can all enjoy this one, and there aren't "packs" of people and it is very low for judgemental feelings etc.  It is so much easier to upload pictures, you have a million security options [so it's not like either can see your entire profile, or no one can see it] which is one thing I REALLY liked. 

You all know I don't advertise much, but I really think that this is going to be an amazing site, and want to get more people involved!!  Feel free to add me once there are well, again, there aren't many people on there, so it's a nice small community [other sites have thousands and thousands].

Thanks everyone for putting up with my advertising lol  Really though, I recommend this site! 

-Cathleen

PS - 14 days until glucose test and thyroid retest
        15 days until next OBS and until we get the ultrasound pictures
        16 days until we ht 6 months and VIABILITY
        100 days until FULL TERM!
        

21 Weeks!! Belly and Belly Measurements haha

Well, 21 weeks down, about 16 more to go!!

Here are the pictures I posted up on facebook for 21 weeks [yesterday].

I know the last one is soo different lol I forgot totake it yesterday, and then I was laying around watching the time to take my fundal height [I wait 5minutes after laying down so that the babies can settle back a bit] so I took it real quick lol  New pajamas hahahaha

So AROUND I am 35 inches, I was 30 before pregnancy.
Fundal height is 33.5cm - which would measure for 33.5 weeks.

Wanted to update everyone!!

i'm in the process of buying a scale too haha

Alright, that's it folks!!

-Cathleen

Here Are The Newest Belly Pics!

20.5 weeks down... hopeufully about 15.5 left!! WOOT!!





........yeah... I know... you don't have to tell me... my shirt and pants don't match LOL

I didn't even realize MYSELF how round I was until I went to take a pic of my bellybutton for myself... this pic wasn't even MEANT to be share... I just wanted to SEE it LOL

Getting bigger...and bigger... by the day it seems <3 

Only about 15.5 weeks left... 15.5... holay smokes! 

I can't believe it sometimes... and I can't believe how FAST this pregnancy is going!  By far.. the fastest one yet!  I thought my first one went by super quick because I spent literally from the first day until the DAY before I went into labor [labor started at 40w6d] in school.  The second, I spent over half of it in school, and hte second half dragged on... forever.  This time, I'm at home... full time.  So I thought it was going to... drag on forever and ever.  I was soo wrong!

In about 10 weeks, it could be any day! 

THAT'S CRAZY!!

lol

I'm sorry I haven't been around... I've been super sick.  I thought sickness lasted forever with a singleton pregnancy... but my body is having like... 10x harder time getting better from this with TWO.  It's been almost a week wince it all started... maybe only 5 days... but ti seems like a week.  Started with aches, then a slight runny nose, then a sore throat + runny nose, and then a sore throat + super runny nose + cough.  It's the normal cold that we all get, it's just taking forever to just set in and then leave haha.  No real fever, but I am watchingit for strep throat... which apparently I'm prone to while pregnant. 

The cough is the worst part... it makes everything else SEEM a lot worse than it really is. 

So yes... it's probably not nearly as bad as it FEELS, but we allll know that the sinus and throat cold... SUCK.  I'm nearly at the point where I'm willing to get a sitter for a day.. and just sleeeeeep. 

Josh has been going through... a lot... lately.  That's putting it lightly. 

So I can't really ask him to come over and take care of hte kids while I sleep right now.  I'm... exhausted. 

But, other than feeling sick... I dno't have many complaints.  Yes... I'm sore and I've been a lot more achy in my pelvix, but I knwo that's a lot to do with being sick right now.  Most of my aches and pains are... if I elimate those... and the tiredness of fighting this cold off... I'm feeling pretty fricken good to be honest. 

I had someone say that they were "miserable" throughout most of their twin pregnancy.  It kind of upset me... how many people get to carry twins? 

I know I DO complain a bit... but I hope that I get it out that I'm also EMBRACING the experience as well.  Yeah... it comes with it's disadvantages... but man... there are TWO babies in there!!  Some people are miserable from day 1 with ONE baby... do people think it'll be a rollercoaster of sunshine and rainbows? 

I know that I didn't have the same situation as them... I'm not them.... etc etc... but I think that we should also appreciate what we're doing as surrogates... it's 9 months for crying out loud... I think we can sacrifice that for a life time of happiness....right?  We do for our own kids... and we could actually have them ourselves... imagine the ENHANCED joy if we couldn't.

I get that near the end... most of us are saying "Is it over yet??!!"  ... the swelling, puking, bloating, aches, pains, headaches, sinus congestion, exhaustion, decreased immune system and the thousand other things you can deal with during pregnant ARE annoying... but common... especially as a surrogate, we have to have known what we were getting into.  We signed up to help someone.  That's what we shoudl be focuxing on. 

I'm sorry to rant, I always seem to do that huh? lol

Thank you for reading, I know my readers are dwindling a bit lately, but that's okay, maybe once my appointmetns get interesting I'll haul in some more readers lol

I apologize about not doing my video blogs... no voice, puffy face and being this sick.... not attractive LOL

Have a great day everyone <3

-Cathleen & Surrobabies