To Answer Some Questoins... And Unfortunately... Confuse You A Bit More

Hello Everyone;

So everyone wants to know.. What's next?

Unfortunately, I do not have those answers yet, although [trust me] I wish I did.  We're all hoping to have it arranged soon, although, IF's job isn't very easy to work around for the time being.  There are a few ideas up in the air but YES we ARE trying again without a shadow of a doubt. 

None of us are giving up, I don't think it is in our nature. 

Of course, there are things I have to speak to Josh about first, it is fine for them to come to us again, but the main problem is that I am hoping to try clomid this time, and the only way for me to get it is to go there to start the treatments. 

This is of course still a bit fresh to us all, and I know myself, am still shocked that it did not take. 

God works in mysterious ways ... as most of you know.  There is a reason for everything, that is the only sure thing.... no one knows WHY things happen... they just do.    It's hard to tell yourself that as a surrogate... it is hard to convince yourself that it was out of your hands. 

If you have any questions, post them as comments, and I will make a new blog... I can't comment on my own posts for some reason... so this is really the only way to get back to everythone.

Thank you for commenting, I LOVE to read your thoughts and feelings, and thank you for joining me and following me on this journey. 

Cathleen

Small Update

Well...

AF started today... actually... technically yesterday [October 12th] at 2:45pm. 

I cried instantly when I seen the blood and I thought it was a cruel joke... how could this have possibly happened to us?  Why wouldn't it have worked?  How could it not work?  I got pregnant so easily with our own children... why is this any different.  Unfortunately, it was NOT a cruel joke, and it WAS for real.

I know that God works in mysterious ways.... I have to be grateful that AF didn't start on Thanksgiving Day....  This seems just so cruel.  Keeping in mind that it takes perfectly healthy couples more than one shot in most cases, I have tried to settle my feelings with the following reasons why surrogacy is SO different from conceiving on your own, with your own partner.

1. There are stresses involved with surrogacy that you would never face while conceiving at home [ie: knowing that your IPs have spent so much money on treatment/travel, you have one shot...you can not just roll over and say "Honey... let's have some fun!!", you are not the only ones hoping it takes, there are two families waiting on results etc]
2. You have money riding on the results as well.
3. As a surrogate, you come to love your Intended Parents, and feel their want and need for it to take just as much as yours.
4. We are all taking extra reprocautions that we would not usually take when trying for our own child [ie:prenatal vitamins, buying special foods] because this is not our child, and want to have the healthiest child possible to pass over to their parents [this is what Intended Parents trust us to do].
5. As a surrogate, we are out to please our Intended Parents, that would mean getting pregnant...NOW!

There are so many things that could happen.  You fall in love with these people and their whole family, you want nothing but the best, but this can also alter your sense of being. 

Stressing over all of those things can alter ovulation.. which is certainly NOT something we all want.  This is why a lot of TS's feel the need to be on fertility medications... to have reassurance.  As a GS *in most cases* two embryos are sent in... this is not always just because their IPs want twins, but also because it is reassurance that at least one will take. 

This is something I have tried to do myself, however, I can not have these sent to me from online because Canada Post will not allow it.  It is the same in the UK and in France.  I did not know this.  So, for all of the potential TS's from Canada, please bear in mind that you would need someone to physically bring you these medications from the US or another country. 

I'm sorry I'm a bit gloomy today. 

With this surrogacy I've learned a lot about myself, as I'm sure many first time surrogates do. 

I've learned that I may get attached to people too easily.  I'm not talking about the fetus I will be carrying, but my Intended Parents.  I realized that this may have actually stunted us, as I cared too much about how much money and how this is effecting them too much... this added to the other stresses of surrogacy.  There is soo much you learn about getting attached in this business, but that is one I had not expected.

I've learned that I have to stand up for what I believe in.  At the beginning of this journey, I may have thought that as long as my IP's were happy, it is all that truly mattered... now I know that that is not correct, and we ALL have to live outside this surrogacy.  You can't cut off your other relationships in this journey, and you find that it is very hard to remember that when surrogacy is all consuming.  Everything you do, everywhere you go... it is always there, and you are always thinking about making healthy decisions for their baby.

These are things that you don't know about until you are there.  They are not BAD things... but are things that are quickly discovered.  It is important to find yourself when you go through this, especially a first surrogacy where you are simply gaining the experience and trying to enjoy it all and take every bit of it in.

Some people will never know the things about themselves that I will by the end of my first surrogacy, and as I do this onward, I hope to keep learning about my self and other cultures and life styles....  I'm so grateful to have learned everything I have so far.

I truly hope that no one picks out all my grammatical errors and my run ons (it really was the biggest point destroyer in English during high school).  I'm sorry this is so long as well, but I haven't had a good honest post in awhile, and I definitely thought I owed it to everyone who is still following us on our journey. I also apogolize if I have repeated myself... it is really late here and I've been told I have a way with words - and a way of repeating them. haha

With that, I sign off with a smile on my face... and I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving weekend!

Cathleen

Getting Close...Losing Patience

We are 8 or 9 dpo depending on when ovulation happened, since it happened over night. 

We test in 3 days from now and it certainly does seem like a far way to go at this point.  I was the lady with 14 pregnancy tests yesterday at the mall.  The clerk looked at me like I was CRAZY.  I told her I wanted to be sure, and she asked if 1-3 would have been enough, and of course, I said... I would have been as certain as if I had 14!

I can't wait to test! I am starting to get nervous though.  We've had a few symptoms already, so we're all just praying for a great test result, if not I'm going to get a blood test to be certain.  It's a little nerve wracking haha.  I feeeel pregnant already, and I don't now why I'm stressing about this. I'm already thinking about little girl characteristics!  haha

I'll post some belly pictures soon, I went to the mall today and I got a few comments about it. lol 

Okay... not sure what else to blog about hahahaha

See you all later
God Bless

Cathleen

....8.....

Days left until we test.  It's really closer to 7.5.

I just got home from Montreal, and had a great time for the 9 or so hours I was actually there and have a few pics!

Ignore the dates... my camera SUCKS haha

So, I did almost 30 hours of travelling for 9 hours in Montreal hahaha.  It was soo fun and I'm so grateful that I got to go!! 

So the count down is ON!  On the morning of the 11th, we will be testing :)  That will make us 10 days past ovulation.  It can take up to 14 days past ovulation, so hopefully it'll be good nd it'll turn up when we want it to!

Not sure what else to update on!  Our last insemination was October 2nd at 4pm.  That was just in case :)  But I'm positive that the sperm and egg met late the night before :)

Okay, so... ask any questions!

Cathleen

The Excitement...It's Too Much!

I have some great news for everyone!! Here.. I'll show you instead!

This was taken last night

This was taken only 3 hours later


And here is the one from today

These are ovulation tests... not pregnancy tests.

We arent telling anyone until 8 weeks either way.  The reason for his is because we want t be sure it has worked and we will be looking forward to January either way, whether it be for inseminations or 2nd trimester visit.

Please don't bother asking about pregnancy test results because I will just say that we are excited for January.

Sooo...time to jump around!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POv-3yIPSWc

Enjoy!

Cathleen

LET THE FUN BEGIN!!

Okay...time for some fun!

My Intended Father arrived early yesterday morning and spend the day with the chldren and I.  We went for a walk with a friend of mine and her son and had supper and kept occupied :)

By the time hubby got home..it was late and I had send IF home hoping for him to get some rest. 

Today is I Day...that is.. Insemination day lol  I found this wicked chart online..hold on and I'll show you guys actually...

Hold on... I have to resave as I now have a different computer and for some reason I forgot that I need to re-save it now hahahahahaha ..should have had a V8 right?

sorry they're so big... but it was this or you couldn't see the words lol

Here is the chart I like to look at actually....not that I don't like to look at hte other...but this one is more encouraging I guess.

The second chart is for a girl..which is what we're aiming for!

Soo...now it is time to get super excited!!

That's the update for now...will come back tomorrow for a new one though!!

Cathleen

Some Filler

here.are.some.jokes.until.there.is.more.news!!....AND.YES.I.DO.NOT.HAVE.A.SPACEBAR.RIGHT.NOW

An American man is riding a train in a European country. His seatmate knows some English, and they end up chatting. The seatmate asks if the American has children. The American says no.

"Ah, so sad," says the European. "Your wife, she is impregnable?" "Well, um, that's not exactly the word," says the American. "Oh!" interrupts the European. "I mean, she is inconceivable?" "Um, not quite --" the American begins, only to be interrupted again. "Oh, no, that isn't right," says the European. "She is, what is it, she is unbearable?" "Well, actually, that's pretty much sums it up," says the American.

A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!"
She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise."
"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"
"Denephew. "

Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you if its still okay..."
"I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Pregnancy and Birth  - F.A.Q.

• Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs ?
  A: You'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all
• Q: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control ?
  A: A misconception
• Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant ?
  A: Have sex just once a year
• Q: What is a chastity belt ?
  A: A labor-saving device
• Q: When does a woman's biological clock start ticking ?
  A: Right after she looks in the mirror and thinks, "On my God, crow's feet !"
• Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving ?
  A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant
• Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex ?
  A: Childbirth
• Q: Should I have a baby after 35 ?
  A. No, 35 children is way too many already
• Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move ?
  A: With any luck, right after he finishes college
• Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu ?
  A: If it's the flu, you'll get better
• Q: Does pregnancy affect a woman's memory ?
  A: Most of the ladies I asked don't remember
• Q: My breasts, rear end & even my feet have grown.  Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy ?
  A: Yes, your bladder
• Q: Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving ?
  A: Depends on what your doing with them
• Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why ?
  A: Cause you're fatter then they are,
• Q: My wife is 5 months pregnant and so moody that she's borderline irrational.
  A: So what's your question ?
• Q: Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor ?
  A: When the sex is between your husband and another woman
• Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold ?
  A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him
• Q: What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy ?
  A: Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder
• Q: What are forceps ?
  A: Giant baby tweezers
• Q: What's the best way to get a man to give up his seat to a pregnant woman ?
  A: Brute force
• Q: How do I know if my baby has dropped ?
  A: He/She will start crying. Be more careful !
• Q: How long is the average woman in labor ?
  A: Whatever she says, divided by two
• Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right ?
  A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current
• Q: When is the best time to get an epidural ?
  A: Right after you find out you're pregnant
• Q: Is there a reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor ?
  A: Not unless the word "alimony" is a concern for you
• Q: I'm modest. Once I start to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position ?
  A: Authorized hospital personnel only -- doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.
• Q: What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning ?
  A: It means you feel as thought not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make it's way out of you
• Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth ?
  A: Yes, pregnancy
• Q: Does labor cause hemorrhoids ?
  A: Labor causes anything you want to blame it for
• Q: When should a baby not be circumcised ?
  A: When it's a girl.
• Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk ?
  A: In your breasts
• Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps ?
  A: Yes, baby lips
• Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth ?
  A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse
• Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing ?
  A: When you see teeth marks
• Q: What is the grasp reflex ?
  A: The reaction of new father's when he sees new mother's breasts.
• Q: Can a mother get pregnant while nursing ?
  A: Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.
• Q: What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away ?
  A: They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in case of global chemical warfare.
• Q: Do I have to have a baby shower ?
  A: Not if your change the baby's diaper very quickly
• Q: What causes baby blues ?
  A: Tanned, hard-bodied bimbos
• Q: What is colic ?
  A: A reminder for new parents to use birth control
• Q: What are night terrors ?
  A: Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she's pregnant again
• Q: Nannies aren't cheap are they ?
  A: Not usually, but occasionally you'll find a floozy
• Q: Will I love my dog less when the baby is born ?
  A: No, but your husband will most likely get on your nerves
• Q: What are the terrible twos ?
  A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey
• Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to act normal ?
  A: Possibly when the kids are in college

The Delivery
A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.